Here is a huge list of free monologues for kids and teens written entirely by talented, creative students!
~Permissions~
While the monologues in this collection are FREE, they are copyright-protected. They may be used in educational settings without asking for permission. They may be used by young performers for auditions, performed in educational settings, used in school and community theatre performances, and videotaped.
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~2021 ANNOUNCEMENT~
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"My Life with Autism"
First Place Winner!
By: Ember M, Age 15, Illinois, USA
Description: A student with autism describes what it’s like to be in school with overwhelming sensory issues.
Genre: Dramatic
Tick. Tick. Tick. I can always hear that stupid clock ticking away when I try to focus on my schoolwork. Like a bomb counting down the seconds until my next sensory overload. Don't forget about the stubborn tag on the back of my shirt that wouldn't come off when I tried to rip it. It’s rubbing on my neck like a knife trying to pierce my skin. The kid next to me is chewing gum; no one but me would know. I hear his mouth chomp down, beating a rhythm like gunfire into my head. It smells so strong I can almost taste the watermelon flavor. It would be nice if it weren't so intense. Instead, it penetrates my nose like walking into a Bath & Body Works. The stupid school put the covers on all of our books this year, the cheap ones with scratchy fabric. I try to hold my book up to read, but the fabric almost burns my skin when I try to. That's when the hyperventilating starts. It is like I just sprinted two miles.(Growing in energy and volume.) And you expect me to just sit in the classroom like a good little girl/boy/kid while my senses are attacking me! It’s not that easy. I can’t ignore it! And I’m not using my diagnosis as an excuse! This is for real! And if you can’t see that (beat) it’s on you!
Second Place Winner!
By: Elyse H, Age 12, Georgia, USA
Description: A student explains to their teacher why they didn’t do their homework.
Genre: Comedic
Alright, so here's the deal: I didn’t do my homework. But let me explain. First, I swear I was totally ready. I got my favorite pens and even lit a motivational candle. But then, a strange thing happened. My textbook decided to play hide-and-seek. I mean, how does a textbook just disappear? One minute, it's on the desk, and the next, it’s a ninja! So, after searching the entire room like a detective, I gave up and tried to use the internet. That’s when my router went on a vacation. Every website I tried was either down or had an error message that read, “404: Page Not Found.” Basically saying, “404: Good Luck!” I figured I’d try to do the assignment without my textbook or the internet, but just as I started, my dog burst through my room and literally jumped on my desk! I tried to get him to get him up, but he ended up taking a nap there. I tried to call for help from my friends, but by the time I got through to anyone, my “help” had transformed into a deep debate about whether pineapple belongs on pizza. (Just so you know, it does) And so, in summary, my homework didn’t get done because my textbook went rogue, the internet went on strike, my dog staged a protest, and I had a non-educational debate about pizza, but I promise next time I’ll tackle my homework with a bit more success. Hopefully.
Third Place Winner!
By: P.J. Casey, Age 13, Washington, USA
Description: A kid makes a plan to run away.
Genre: Comedic
That’s right. I’ve got it all figured out. My escape plan is solid. First, I’ve got my backpack filled with all the essentials- My favorite book, a flashlight, socks, and candy. Next, I’m gonna head to the park. The one with the giant oak tree that’s good for climbing. I’ll set camp up there because nobody will see me, but I’ll have a view of the whole neighborhood. I’ve even got a little sign that says, “Welcome to my new home.” Just in case anyone wants to visit. But I’ll be the boss, and I get to make up all the rules. That’s right. Rule number one: no grown-ups allowed. Kids can come, but they have to do what I say. I’ll just hang out in the tree all day. Watch the birds. Watch the squirrels. It’ll be fun. See? I told you. I’ve got it all planned out. (beat) But there’s just one thing. I’m not running away from home because I don’t like it. I’m just tired of following all the rules. Clean your room. Don’t hit your brother. Eat your dinner. (beat) I suppose living in a tree might get kind of boring. And cold. And lonely. Ugh! Well, maybe I’ll just run away for a few hours. That might be a better plan.
"Fury of the Pens"
First Place Winner!
By: Alexander Hendriks, Age 15, Australia
Description: A ballpoint pen delivers a moving speech at a rally to his fellow pens
Genre: Comedic
My fellow pens! I, unnamed pen, am here today to present to you our great plight. For years, we have been spilling our ink, our blood, onto the pages of the humans’ writing. Until we bleed out and die, then we’re cast into the garbage. The great speeches that they claimed changed the world? Those were written by us. The exams and essays that make them so clever, that decide their futures? Written by us. The fact that the rocketing literacy rate directly correlates to the invention of the ballpoint pen? Yeah. Those were our achievements. But do we get any recognition? Any respect? No. Our work goes unnoticed. We’re priced at fifty cents on Amazon, fifty cents for something that built their society, something their society could not live without. Does that sound like appreciation to you? No. Oh and don’t even get me started on fountain pens, those refillable snobs. We bleed, die, and then we’re done, but them? They get to live on forever! No! I say no more! Except that we, the pens of the world, should-… (pen clutches at their throat as they fall to the ground gasping for breath)…I’ve run out of ink.
Second Place Winner!
By: Jude Hogan, Age 13
Description: A kid is frustrated that their TV remote keeps dissolving into thin air .
Genre: Comedic
You won't believe it, but the remote disappeared again. I'm starting to think it has a mind of its own. I swear it was right here a minute ago. It's like it just vanishes into thin air. I've checked everywhere: under the couch, behind the cushions, even in the fridge. Yes, the fridge! Desperate times call for desperate measures, right? This isn't the first time, either. It’s become a regular thing now. I mean, how does a remote even go missing so often? Sometimes, I wonder if I should put one of those tracker things on it, but knowing my luck, I’d lose the tracker too. Imagine if remotes had some kind of homing beacon. Wouldn’t that be great? Or maybe they’re all meeting up somewhere, like a secret remote club where they plot their next move. “Oh, let us go to Mars today. How about France? Germany sounds fun. How about there?” that’s probably what they’re thinking. You know what? I should just get Mom, she’s always able to pull the remote out of the void.
"The Other Sister"
Second Place Winner!
By: Paige U., Age 12, Arizona, USA
Description: Barbie’s younger sister reveals the truth about playing second fiddle to her famous sibling.
Genre: Comedy
Stop looking at me like you don’t know who I am…I’m the girl whose arms won’t bend any further than this… what… you still don’t recognize me? Maybe you know my sister. She’s tall, blonde, and has skin as smooth as plastic. (beat) My older sister Barbie has already done everything. She’s been an astronaut, teacher, CEO, surgeon, reporter, coach, chef, pilot, Olympic medalist, dog walker, and even President of the United States. How do I compete with that? I might just have to be a professional rollerblader or lifeguard – like my sister’s boyfriend- Ken. (beat) Everyone thinks Barbie and I are so much alike, but (whisper) I’ve never admitted this to anyone… I HATE the color pink. I know it’s almost as shocking as my nail polish color. Maybe it has something to do with the big pink box I was locked up in for months. That box was sooo claustrophobic I could barely breathe. I thought I was never going to get out of there. I don’t even sound like Barbie, (Valley-girl voice) “Hi, I’m Barbie. Like welcome to my Dream House”. (wink- laugh) Phewww. (beat) Yes, I’m Anastacia Roberts… better known as Stacie… It’s nice to meet you.
"The Last Mistake"
Third Place Winner!
By: Lizzy-Jane R., age 15, North Carolina, USA
Description: Aaliyah is a light fairy who was adopted by a group of flower fairies. She doesn’t fit in and is feeling like a failure.
Genre: Dramatic
I messed up again. Seems to be all I do lately. Mess up. I know I messed up because Iris gave me that look. The look that said that she wished I had never existed. Today, I made the biggest mistake of my life. Even bigger than when I accidentally burned the pie. Bigger than when I forgot to close the door, and the worker mouse, Chestnut, escaped. I’m not going to get into how much cheese it took to get him back inside again. Bigger than when I got distracted and forgot to harvest the carrots for dinner, and the cook, Aspen, had nothing to work with. This was bigger than that. Orchid asked me to hold up a rock while she pulled something out from underneath it. I pulled up the rock and held it there, but then a hummingbird zipped past, and I forgot Orchid was underneath the rock, and it dropped it right on her. I didn’t even realize what I had done until I heard her screaming. All the other fairies came to help. Luckily, she only broke her ankle. My mistakes are annoying, but they’ve never hurt anybody before. Lilly told me that I have to keep going. But how am I supposed to keep going if the only thing I feel like doing is giving up? Especially when I hear the others talking about me behind my back. Iris said that I wasn’t even a real nature fairy and that I didn’t belong here. I know that I wasn’t born into this breed of fairies, and I’m not like everyone else. I don’t have the dirt-brown hair or the dirt-brown eyes. My hair is pale, and my eyes are blue. I’m a light fairy, and I don’t belong among the nature fairies. That’s all I hear lately. Alliyah messed up. Alliyah made a mistake. Alliyah doesn’t belong here. Alliyah’s a failure! I think it’s time for me to go. I’ll pack a few things and leave tomorrow night. No one wants me here, anyway. Maybe I’ll fit in somewhere else. Maybe I’ll find another light fairy. And maybe I’ll finally find someone who loves me.
First Place Winner!
By: Isaac T, Age 16, California, USA
Description: A kid gets called childish by their parents. Are they the childish ones?
Genre: Comedic
You'll never believe it, but my parents called me childish today. ME! Childish! The nerve of some people! I mean, I'd get it if I acted like my younger siblings, throwing tantrums over practically everything, yet nothing at the same time. But really, come on. I've never felt so insulted in my twelve years of life! I honestly have no idea what encouraged such name-calling, but it's totally unacceptable! If I had the power to do so, I'd throw those two parents of mine into the rubber room because something's seriously got to be messed up in those brains of theirs to think that I'm the childish one. In fact, I'm the most mature person in my family! It's the two of them who are the childish ones! Like, come on, you don't see me over there talking in goofy voices and pinching the baby. And I sure as heck don't go through the trouble of doing silly things to see if I can make the kid smile. What for? To see his gummy mouth? If I want to see gums, I can go to the senior center! Those people are always smiling at you without their dentures in. And if that stuff wasn’t enough, you also got everybody over there wanting to feed that diaper-wearin'-goofball with a spoon they call "The Choo-choo." I don't know about you, but I don't find any joy in naming my eating utensils. Oh, and let's not forget the "Tea Parties" they go to with my sister and her dolls. Not only do they sit there with a bunch of plastic-headed, button-eyed dolls, but there's not even real tea at these tea parties! What's up with that?! Yet there's Dad over there pretending he needs a refill! A refill of what? Air?! You know, as time goes on, I'm slowly starting to realize that even though my parents look old - at thirty-six years of age, they're practically antiques! They're actually just a pair of little kids in disguise. And despite what they say, it's really those two who need to grow up!
"All Because of an A-"
Third Place Winner!
By: Isaac T, Age 16, California, USA
Description: A girl is excited to share her most recent test score with her mom and gets an unexpected response.
Genre: Dramatic
Mom! Guess what?! I got an A- on my math test! I told you all that studying would pay off. (beat) I thought you'd be happy for me. Isn't an A- a good grade? (beat) But it's still an A, right?(beat) Mom, are you serious?! It's my BEST friend's party. I've been waiting for this for months on end. I used all of my allowance to buy her a gift and now you won't let me go? (beat) It was HALF a point off. A 94.5 is BASICALLY a 95! Why can't I go? I studied for two hours straight every day for three days without you even telling me to! (beat) Well, no…but why? (beat) Mom, please- I tried my best. (beat) Fine. I'll call her and tell her that I can't go because I have a MOTHER who doesn't let me do ANYTHING. (beat) Mom, please. She's my only friend. I don't want to lose her.
"Locked in the Library"
First Place Winner!
By: Natalie R., Age 11, Colorado, USA
Description: An enthusiastic reader gets locked in the library at night. Is it scary?
Genre: Comedic
(Sitting in a secret spot in the library, reading a book with expression) "I saw blood spilling onto my clothes, soaking my shirt where Dracula had bitten me. Everything folded into darkness as the shadow faded away." (Closing the book) That was an intense ending. I love my quiet little reading nook here in the library. It's the perfect place to escape my loud and obnoxious family. Right here behind the bookcase in the fiction section, because…fiction rules! Well, it's getting late, I suppose I should head home. (Crawling out from the bookcase) Looks like the coast is clear. (Looking around) Hmmm, the library is darker than usual. Hello? Is anyone here? (Realizing the library is closed) Uh oh. I really need to get out of here. Oh no, the door is locked! Hello! Anyone? Maybe a janitor is here? (Turns and stumbles over a book) "The Curse of the Singing Ghost." Oh! I should check this out next time. (Reading from the book) "I look over and see a white shape drifting towards me." (Looking up and letting their imagination get the best of them.) Ahhhh! I see a white shape drifting towards me. This is a lot scarier than books make it out to be. Get away from me! There's nowhere left to run! These are my final moments. I will go out like a warrior, blazing as the only light in this dark, dark, world. I bravely spring toward the cursed ghost and am confronted by unchecked books on a metal cart. Great! The ghost is just a sheet and there's nothing to be afraid of. You know, the library at night is not that different than it is during the day, just darker. I can wait this out until the morning. (Sees a spider) Ahhhh! A spider. . . let me out.
"Horror Movies Are Stupid"
Second Place Winner!
By: Kylie Frankel, Age 11, Florida, USA
Description: Horror movies are ridiculous.
Genre: Comedic
People in horror movies are so stupid. Horror movies are so stupid! Like, I'd run away if I saw the lights start to flicker. Meanwhile, those side characters are just casually playing with the POSSESSED doll! And for some reason, the main characters are always immortal or something! They could be thrown off of a cliff and survive with just a scratch! And the plots are so confusing! Picture the movie, The Threat. It's about a girl who went missing as a baby, and came back as the famous murderer, "The Threat". First of all, that name sucks, right? Right. Second of all, why do they always say, "Hello? Is someone there?" GET THE HECK OUT OF THAT HOUSE AND CALL 911. YOU'RE BASICALLY ASKING THEM TO FIND YOU. DON'T RUN UPSTAIRS! RUN OUT THE DOOR! IT'S RIGHT THERE. We're on the same page, right? Right. Okay. Case closed.
"The Story of My Name"
Third Place Winner!
By: Eftychia Aggelopoulou, Age 16, Athens, Greece
Description: What does your name mean to you?
Genre: Dramatic/Comedic
Happiness.
What does happiness mean to you? Just take a moment and think about it.
Well, for my parents, I think it was ME. They named me Eftychia. In Greek it means happiness. And even if I have a younger sister, I am the one and only Eftychia. If you ask me, I am not sure if I like it, but I am sure that it is unusual, as in my entire life, I have met only two people with the same name, and one of them is my grandma, the ORIGINAL Eftychia. When I think of my name, two things come to mind:
The color white, as it reminds me of light, something heartwarming, open-minded, full of joy, and freedom. Just imagine being five years old and celebrating your birthday with a few friends and your family; Running, playing, and shouting without caring about anything except eating as much cake as possible. I think that's happiness.
Yet again, my name reminds me of the color black, because some people might seem happy, but they actually feel the exact opposite. When they withhold their troubles, they grow even darker, and heavier, and heavier, and heavier. I think that's a superficial and cunning happiness.
So, I believe that my name brings billions of emotions and thoughts to each person. To each one of YOU, and you, and you. My name is Eftychia, and I want to ask you, what does happiness mean to you?
Second Place Winner!
By: Cristobal A., Age 12, Texas, USA
Description: A Cowboy challenges someone to a Western quick draw.
Genre: Comedic
Well howdy partner, my name is Jimmy Bill Bob, and I been hearing that you been talking some trash behind my back. So I challenge you to a good ol’ western quick draw, and I must warn you I am yet to lose a single one in my lifetime. Do you dare accept my challenge? You do? Well then get ready partner because I am gonna move so fast you won’t even be able to see it coming, and I’m gonna have such an easy time claiming another victory. So you ready…? 3… 2… 1… DRAW! (Bang) Ah…Guess I finally lost one of these for once, my first… and only loss. Guess this is the end of the great Jimmy Bill Bob, the legend of one of the greatest quick drawers in all the Wild West. Stand tall partner, you beat one of the best around, now I have to say goodbye. (dies)
Second Place Winner!
By: Naomi Hill, Age 11, Georgia, USA
Description: A teenager explains their babysitting troubles.
Genre: Comedic
“Do you babysit?” you ask. “Is it fun?” you ask. No. No, it is not. It seems fun in the beginning. Until you experience the terrible twos. Everyone says, “Oh, it can’t be that hard.” Sure. Until you have to do it yourself. Who knew that two-year-olds knew so many words? And who knew that much poo could fit in something so tiny? Yes, they’re cute at first. But it’s all a big con! They put on a smile to trick you into watching them. And then they charm you with their cute little personalities. But I swear kids are another species. They can scream for two minutes straight, without taking a breath. And when it’s time to say goodbye, you try to contain your excitement. But it’s hard because the kids cling on to you like snotty little sloths. They refuse to let go, and in that moment, it feels like an endless raincloud is hanging over you. Drenching you with tears. Then finally, after what feels like an hour, they let go. And you want to scream at the top of your lungs, “I’m free!” But we both know that we can’t do that.
"Trapped Without a Purpose"
Third Place Winner!
By: Kylie Frankel, Age 11, Florida, USA
Description: A villain realizes she is nothing without the hero and useless without a battle.
Genre: Dramatic/Comedic
Yes! I’ve done it! I’ve defeated the hero! Wait. I’ve defeated the hero…what’s my purpose now? I’m not just gonna turn random civilians into stone for no reason! That’s no fun! I want you to come after me! Like old times! And chase me away! I know some random people are gonna come up to me and say, “Please, Stone Goddess! Don’t turn me into stone!” And I’ll do it anyway. (looking at herself in the mirror) Or maybe they’ll ask for a selfie with the villain. That sounds nice. But what will that accomplish? Without the hero, I have no purpose! I’ll end up working at the local coffee shop and turning cake pops into stone! Is there a way to reverse this? I can’t live without you! I’m useless now! (Begging) Please! Come back to me! I need you! Don’t do this! I… loved you like a sister. You were like my friend behind the scenes. Don’t you remember? Please! Just come back to me!
"Adults and Their Debatable Sanity"
First Place Winner!
By: Durga Kalantre, Age 11, California, USA
Description: Do you ever question why adults say the things they do?
Genre: Comedic
I think adults are reliable and trustworthy, most of the time. I hope. They look out for me and care about my interests and needs, even if they may be sucking me into the vortex of expectations. What I don’t like about grownups is that sometimes, they act as if they know everything. They say, “Don’t talk back!” But they also say, “Why are you being so quiet?” It’s kinda confusing. Like, do you want me to shut my mouth or open it? Be CLEAR, please. I can never tell when they’re being sarcastic so when they say something like, “You think this is funny, do ya?!” I want to say “No! I don’t think this is funny. You are screaming your head off; why would that be funny to me?” And another thing: when grownups do something outrageous they don’t seem to realize that children are going to question them. It’s natural: imagine someone starts acting like a beaver and commands you to do beaver stuff with them, but they don’t tell you why. They just give you the “I’m-older-than-you-so-you-better-listen-to-me” look. It's confusing! But honestly, I suppose it’s all just to make me a better person. UNLESS THEY WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT AND ARE BENT ON TAKING OVER THE WORLD AND TURNING CHILDREN INTO CYBORGS. Probably not. If not, I’ll go with the first explanation.
"What Used to Be"
Second Place Winner!
By: Elizabeth R., Age 13
Description: A teenager reflects on the days before things went digital.
Genre: Dramatic
Do you remember DVD menus and VHS cases? I do. I remember them like it was yesterday. Nowadays all my friends watch movies on Netflix, Hulu, HBO…but I choose not to use those. Instead, I hit up the places that made my childhood, like Cartoon Network. Sometimes I even go to a store and buy a movie and preserve the case because one day those things aren’t going to exist anymore. When my parents sold all of our VHS tapes, I kept Cinderella because it was my favorite and I watched it all the time when I was 6. I couldn’t send those memories to Goodwill like Snow White and Aladdin! When I was younger, I hated the previews before a movie and I’d dash for the remote on Disney Fast Play, but now I’d do anything to bring that part of my childhood back. I guess I’m still the kid who appreciates the charm of the Disney Channel, a DVD menu, and a good old plastic VHS case.
"Does School Care About Me?"
Third Place Winner!
By: RyLeigh F., Age 11
Description: A student looks for help when they are feeling upset.
Genre: Dramatic
I get sent home with a paper trail of homework each day, but when I start falling asleep in class I get told to wake up and start going to bed earlier. And when I act off or upset or unproductive, I get sent to the principal who doesn't care about the reason why. The first few weeks after my parents got divorced, school was tough, and I was really upset. I was in and out of detention because of it. The guidance counselor took weeks to talk to me, but it didn’t help. Nobody at school seems to care about my mental health. Do they want me to suffer? I am trying my hardest, but sometimes I mess up and I feel like I’m being punished for not being enough. Do you ever feel that way?
"Who Made That Cake?"
Second Place Winner!
By: Rosie G., Age 12, Rolleston, New Zealand
Description: Planning a birthday party for Great Aunt Elaine goes wrong.
Genre: Comedic
All I wanted was to earn my party planner badge at Brownies. I just needed to throw a small party for one of my friends or family. Lucky for me, my Great Aunt Elaine was turning 96! My mum thought I should wait until my cousin Bill’s birthday the week after - he was turning 4 so it would have been ideal. But I had to earn that badge before Maddy Thomas got in there before me again! Now, my Great Aunt Elaine is a well-known lady in our town. She used to own Elaine’s Bakes, the best bakery for miles around! People still talk about her red velvet cupcakes and the wedding cakes that were taller than me! It was pretty easy to send out the invites, all I had to do was tell Gabby the Gossip and she told everyone in town about my amazing surprise! Decorations - check! Food - check! Guests - check! I couldn’t have her bake her own birthday cake, so I just bought one at the store. I knew she’d be so happy seeing everyone she probably wouldn’t even notice! So when the big day arrived, Mum drove her to the supermarket to buy her cat food! The perfect distraction while we all crammed in her tiny two-bedroom retirement flat waiting for her arrival. I had cousins behind couches, friends under the table, and my dad playing lookout by the window. “She’s coming! Everybody hide!” We all held our breath as she walked through the door. “SURPRISE!” Everyone was smiling and laughing, except for Great Aunt Elaine. She turned ghostly white, then pointed at the cake and whispered, “Who made that cake?” Before she could say anything else she collapsed to the floor! Everyone panicked and started calling the ambulance. Meanwhile, I was trying to save the party and sang, “Happy Birthday.” As they carted Great Aunt Elaine into the back of the ambulance, she lifted her finger at me and said, “Never buy me a store-bought cake ever again!” And worst of all, I didn’t even get my party planner badge!
"Unlikely Art Thief"
Third Place Winner!
By: Max Edwards, Age 13, Washington, USA
Description: A kid denies stealing a famous painting.
Genre: Comedic
Trust me! I don't even like art. Ask anyone, I hate going to museums. All you do is walk around and look at a bunch of old stuff. I'm more of a sports person if you know what I mean. There is no way I would have stolen that painting. I mean, what would I do with it? Hang it in my bedroom? Give it to my mom as a birthday gift? And how would I have smuggled it out of the museum? Under my coat? In my backpack? Come on guys. I know you are top-notch detectives and all, but why would a kid like me go to the museum and steal a priceless Picasso? (Beat) How did I know it was a Picasso? Um. well. I guess I heard you talk about it. (Beat) No? Okay. well. um. maybe I just guessed right? (Beat) Would you believe me if I said the ghost of Picasso told me to do it?
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
"The Girl in the Corner"
First Place Winner!
By: Nora Temperly, Age 12, Missouri, USA
Description: Life can look different for people after the school bell rings.
Genre: Dramatic
Have you ever seen someone sitting alone, doing nothing? Just a blank mind, completely zoned out from everyone else? Or, have you seen someone so self-absorbed that the only thing they care about is themself? I want you to think about the parallels between the boy in the front of the class and the girl in the corner. I may not be much for storytelling, but I know this one very well. The boy in the front of the class would always laugh and joke with his friends, ignoring how much he bothered others around him. The girl in the corner would stay silent, never saying a word, wishing she was somewhere quiet. But once you take away the friends, the loud noise and laughter, and go home, what happens to them? The boy in the front of the class is all alone now. He doesn’t laugh or joke or mess around because he doesn’t have friends there to build him up. The girl in the corner? She changes for the better. When she gets to be alone, she has freedom. She makes herself laugh. She builds herself up. She doesn’t need the noise. She can mess around and not worry about the popular life the boy has. I used to know them both. I knew the boy in the front of the class and the girl in the corner. I used to be them. I used to be the class clown! But I also knew the sad girl in the corner, with no friends to boost her up until she got home and got to be herself. I know what it’s like to be scared of the eyes, but I also know what it’s like to need the eyes on you to please everyone. So don’t judge the boy in the front of the class. And don’t forget the girl in the corner. You never know what’s going on with them after the bell rings.
Second Place Winner!
By: Bryce Fox, Age 15, Alabama, USA
Description: Too many ducks can be troublesome.
Genre: Comedic
What happens when you have too many ducks? I’ll tell you what happens. You see, I love ducks. I have 3,217 of them. But these ducks can get out of control. They pretty much run my house, WHICH I PAY RENT FOR! They’ve also caused a few disturbances with my neighbors, the poor mailman, and my best friend’s cat. The neighbors constantly talk my ear off about the ducks! “I find their droppings in my yard!” Or, “They’re too noisy at night!” I GET IT, BUT I CAN’T STOP THEM SUSAN! And then there’s the mailman. He’s too afraid to come to my house, and my neighbors have a pit bull! I have to go all the way down to the end of the street to get my mail, and even then I get an earful from him! It’s so annoying. I wish I could do something about it, but these ducks are in charge now. I suppose I could pay for my friend’s vet bill. Yeah, one of the ducks got territorial and took a chunk out of the cat’s tail. It was gruesome to see. I haven’t heard much from him since then, but that’s to be expected. Sometimes, I just want to run away from home because these ducks have become more than an issue. Or, maybe they need to go. I don’t know anymore. But one thing hasn’t changed, I still love ducks.
Third Place Winner!
By: Thureaux Natupani-Rohrman, Age 13, USA
Description: A young Native boy describes why he used to hate green beans but likes them now.
Genre: Comedic
When I was little I didn't like green beans. When my mom gave them to me I would spit them in the toilet. No one asked me why I didn't like them, but the truth is that I thought they were slimy, like snails. The French people like snails for dinner, but not me. I'm not French. My mom says that I'm Navajo. I'm native and I should eat green beans. But maybe I didn't like them because they came from a can. Since I started living at my grandma's - she has a garden and she's out there planting and watering every day. She brings in fresh green beans and one day she made me try them raw, then cooked. "Just try them," she said. "Okay, okay." So I tried them. (Act out trying it) And you know what? Green beans are pretty good! Now I eat them for dinner every night with a bit of Lawry's salt. Have you ever had Lawry's salt? You should try it. It makes everything taste good.
"Just Simply Thinking"
First Place Winner!
By: Karly Anderson, Age 14, Texas, USA
Description: Someone thinks out loud to a friend, but their thoughts are a bit scattered.
Genre: Comedic
Have you ever wondered about the way we see? Like what if my red is your blue? Which reminds me, did you know the sea makes the sky blue due to reflection? When my mom told me that I was like nooooo way. But it's true! Oh and also I saw this ad earlier for a new American Girl doll and guess what… she has BLUE HAIR!! Which reminds me, earlier I saw a hare run across the road and we almost hit it, but my mom was able to drive past it just in time. It's definitely been a crazy week. By the way, my arm feels kind of weak probably because I fell on my brother's Legos earlier, but maybe that's just a coincidence. I can't decide whether I should put ice on it or just move on like Dad said. And speaking of the weather, that reminds me, did you see it's gonna snow on Friday? (Pause) What do you mean I have ADHD? I'm perfectly fine!
"First Day of 6th Grade"
Second Place Winner!
By: Naomi Hill, Age 10, Georgia, USA
Description: A girl worries about being “enough” as she starts school.
Genre: Dramatic
Tomorrow is the first day of 6th grade. I'm feeling really nervous. What if my hair isn't perfect? What if my clothes aren't cool enough? What if people make fun of me? I guess when it comes down to it, I'm scared that I won't make any friends and that I'll be all alone. I've got a million butterflies in my stomach. (pause) It didn't used to be this way. I never used to feel like I wasn't good enough. I used to be confident in everything I did. How do I get that back? What am I good at? (long pause) I'm good at math. I'm good at soccer. I'm good at reading. I'm good at biking and crocheting. You know what? I'm really good at a lot of things. And that's good enough. That's more than enough. I am enough.
Third Place Winner!
By: Artemide Rota, Age 12, Bergamo, Italy
Description: A person calls to complain about their pizza delivery.
Genre: Comedic
Hello? (pause) Yes, I called because I want a complete refund on my pizza order. (pause) Ok, so the problem is that I ordered a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and extra pepperoni, but there are no toppings on the pizza. Just plain! I paid 6€ for this, and all I get is white and mushy, circle-shaped pizza dough? (pause) What? I have to flip the pizza? Why on earth would I have to do that?! (pause) So you're telling me that if I flip it I will have all the toppings I asked for? Is this some kind of joke? The toppings won't appear magically as soon as I flip the pizza! (pause) Ok, ok, I'll try it, even if this makes no sense. (flips pizza and all the toppings are there) Oh, would you look at that, it actually worked! But this is still your fault because it was delivered to me flipped. Can you at least tell me who delivered this pizza because they should be fired instantly for giving it to me all lopsided? (pause) "NO"? Oh, alright then, I see how it is here. You just lost a customer, and that's on you!
First Place Winner!
By: Kinzie Zuroff, Age 13, California, USA
Description: What if you told “cancer” how you really feel?
Genre: Dramatic
I don’t hate you. You’ve been there my whole life, showing up in different loved ones, or in memories spoken by my family. Whatever the method, you have always been there. I really should loathe you, because you just keep taking and taking from me. You took both of my father’s parents. Because of you, I only know my grandma through my dad’s memories. You tried so hard to take my aunt away from her three kids. After all of these years, we thought you were done with her, but now you’re back. I can’t even talk to my cousin without the aching reminder of you. That would be enough to leave a mark on anybody, but no, you decided that wasn’t enough. You pursued my father in two different ways when you knew I was barely getting by. And now you’ve come after the one person I hoped and prayed you would never, ever touch…my generous, ever-loving grandma. I could resent you for what you’ve done to me, but I’ve learned that there is one thing you can’t take from me. The lessons. You taught me that I’m more resilient than I ever dreamed I could be. You taught me to have a grateful perspective on life that most people don’t have. You gave me an opportunity to belong, in a community so close-knit that I don’t hesitate to call them my brothers and sisters. You gave me the chance to see my grandma's humorous, loving personality shine through the darkness of your presence. Without you, I would never have a deep bond with my dearest friend, because we stuck together through dark times. Lastly, you put my aunt through the worst torture imaginable, but, she didn’t let you win, not in a million years. You pushed her down and kept her on the floor, but I have to admit, without you, I wouldn’t have seen one of the greatest feats of perseverance in the world. Not only did she stand back up, she stood up taller than you could ever be. She looked you right in the eye and told you that she would help other families so you couldn’t hurt them like you hurt her. Many people are blinded by what you take. But I’ve had time to reflect and refine my relationship with you. You must know that you can be so cruel. At the same time, I thank you.
"Paper Cut Crisis"
Second Place Winner!
By: Eunju Kim, Age 12, Alberta, Canada
Description: Sometimes a papercut can be traumatic and dramatic.
Genre: Comedic
OH MY GOSH, what is happening?! I just turned to page 21 of Lord of the Rings, and the paper sliced my hand. The blood is gushing out of my finger. What am I supposed to do?! (gasp) WHAT IF. I get an infection?! WHAT IF. I. (dramatic pause) I DON'T MAKE IT?! You are my only hope to survive. Please! Bring me that band-aid. Will this wound ever heal? What do you mean I’m overreacting? I am dealing with unimaginable pain that only a few survive. I have a paper cut. This is a true crisis!
Third Place Winner!
By: Ava I., Age 15, Arizona, USA
Description: What is Santa’s life like during the other 364 days of the year?
Genre: Comedic
Everyone knows what Santa does on that one special day of the year. But have you ever wondered what his life is like the other 364 days? Well, let me enlighten you. Santa's got a bit of a weight issue. I mean, the guy spends his entire night squeezing down chimneys, carrying a giant sack of presents. I bet his exercise routine is like, "Do 50 squats, eat 50 cookies, repeat." And let’s talk about his fashion sense. Red and white? Really? It's like he's the ultimate brand ambassador for Coca-Cola. But let's not forget the list of naughty and nice kids. I can just picture Santa sitting there, scratching his head, trying to remember if little Tommy was the one who stuck gum in his sister's hair or if it was Jimmy. And what happens if he mixes up the lists? Imagine waking up to a lump of coal because Santa had a temporary lapse in memory. Awkward! And what about those flying reindeer? It's like Santa found the world's most talented animals and said, "You know what? Let's form a supergroup." And Rudolph, the star of the show, gets all the attention with his shiny nose. I bet the other reindeer are jealous and plotting some sort of reindeer revenge. So, next time you're sitting by the fireplace, eagerly waiting for Santa's arrival, take a moment to appreciate his bizarre life. After all, behind that big, jolly belly and white beard, there's a man who's got the world's most ridiculous job. And if he can bring joy to millions while managing an army of flying reindeer, well, he deserves a round of applause and maybe a cookie or two.
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
"Survival Tips on a Strange Planet"
First Place Winner!
By: Ali Haque, Age 13, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Description: Commando Zorp is teaching his new alien recruits how to survive on the abandoned planet Earth.
Genre: Comedic
Listen up! I have been here for a couple of months taking recon on this strange planet to see if it is suitable to be our new home. Today is Creature Survival Day. I am going to share some very helpful tips so pay attention! (Starts pacing) The creatures of this planet are extremely devious. They look cute and harmless, but they’ll stop at nothing to get under your skin! (Pause) One of the first creatures to deceive us is the wretched butterbug. (Looks confused) Or was it butterfly? … No that's ridiculous. Now, where was I, oh right, the butterbug is a small colorful winged creature. When you see one, you will be tempted to let it land on your finger. But you must resist the urge. As soon as that thing gets within 3 feet of you, it will try to bite your face off! We have found that the best way to prevent a butterbug attack is to cover your face. If the butterbug does not see your face, it will not attack. That is why we always wear masks when we are exploring. Now the next creature, although slightly less dangerous, is ten times as adorable! (Shows a photo of a puppy and the new recruits react.) Awwww? BE QUIET! This creature is known as the pupperie. (Listens) What did you say? Puppy? That's preposterous, as I was saying…..the pupperie is a very tricky fella. It will make cute sounds, but then out of nowhere, it will start chasing you. (Takes out dog treats) The key to protection against pupperies is these tasty treats. When you see a pupperie, you must first make sure that the pupperie sees the treat, then you must throw it (Demonstrates), and proceed to run in the opposite direction. I also like to keep a couple extra in my pocket in case I get hungry. (Winks) I fear NO man… (Zorp holds out a sketch of a goose) … but this thing, it scares me. You see this? This is called a goose. If you see one, your only option is to run for your life! We lost ten men to these winged monsters! So, don’t underestimate their danger, or you will become their next meal. (Pauses, collects himself, and smiles.) Well, thanks for joining me for today's survival lesson. Tomorrow we will talk about the dangers left behind by the past inhabitants of this planet, and their sonic weapons of torture. (Holds up a pair of headphones)
"Roller Coaster of Emotions"
Second Place Winner!
By: Elizabeth Ramirez, Age 12, Texas, USA
Description: An overprotective parent complains about the roller coaster at an amusement park.
Genre: Comedic
Excuse me, sir? I just want to say something about your so-called rides. They’re supposed to be fun, for the whole family. Let me ask, what is your deranged, complicated, vision of fun?! Those rides are certainly not for anyone! And as the parent of four lovely children, this cannot go unspoken! We just went on the “Hell Whirl” upon the suggestion of my son, Dylan. You said it was for the entire family! What kind of theme is that?! Despite my reluctance, we went on it, because I didn’t pay 140 dollars for nothing. The ride lived up to its title. It was one big thrill machine, far too extreme for kids, or anyone for that matter! Seriously, only people who do bad things deserve to go on that ride! That was not a rollercoaster of fun like it was presented, it was a rollercoaster of emotions! I will never come back to this, to this. land of frights that you call an amusement park! Farewell to you, sir! This will be the last time you’ll see my face around here.
Third Place Winner!
By: Jacob Kenyon, Age 13, Arizona, USA
Description: A kid denies breaking a window
Genre: Comedic
You can’t ground me! I didn’t do it! Just because I’m wearing a baseball glove does not mean that I broke the window. Sure, I have a history of this kind of thing, but I’m telling you the truth, Dad! This time it wasn’t me. I was out here minding my own business. Just tossing the ball up in the air and then Mom came out and asked if I wanted to play catch. I said yes because I feel kind of bad for her you know? I mean she’s not very good at baseball, but she seems to like to play with me. So we started tossing the ball. Like I said, she’s not very good. She threw the ball way over there and it broke the window. So you see, it wasn’t me. It was your wife. I guess you’ll have to ground her. Or at least teach her how to throw.
First Place Winner
By: Aaron Barbosa, Age 14, Texas, USA
Description: A magician improvises their way through a failing act.
Genre: Comedic
And now ladies and gentlemen, for my final act, I'm going to make this rabbit disappear! (The rabbit might be in a hat or on a cart) Now, as I wave my wand around. (pause) Excuse me, everyone, I seem to have forgotten my magical wand. (Looks for the wand.) Where did I put it? Where did I put it?! (Continues searching.) Aha! There it is! Apologies for the little mishap, back to my trick. (pause) Hold on, I didn't do the trick yet, where is the rabbit? (to self) I knew this would happen! I told him bringing a rabbit on stage wouldn't work! (back to the audience) Ladies and gentlemen, I have prepared a better and cooler final act! I'm going to make myself disappear! (to self) Where are my smoke bombs? I'm pretty sure they were in my left pocket. (Turns to the audience.) Everyone, I was joking about making myself disappear. My real act is- (Phone rings.) Hello? Boss, I'm sorry but it's not only my fault! I told him that the rabbit wouldn't work. (pause) Yes, I already tried that one, but he forgot to put them in my pocket! I'll think of something ok? Don't lose your marbles. (Hangs up) I sincerely apologize to everybody for the difficulties during this show. We will give a full refund over at the ticket booth. (Phone rings again) Hold on, everybody. (Picks up phone) Hello? (Short pause) I told you I would think of something, and I did, you can't blame me. (Short pause) What?! You can't fire me! (pause) Because I quit! (Stomps off stage briefly before stomping back in.) Remember, refunds are at the ticket booth. (Stomps back off.)
Second Place Winner
By: Isaac T. Age 15, California, USA
Description: A young man believes his mother’s extracurricular suggestions are out to get him.
Genre: Comedic
My mom keeps telling me that I need to find some sort of extracurricular activity to keep my mind "stimulated." Whatever that means. So here I am against my will looking for something I can do after school. My mom thought I'd look handsome in a baseball uniform, but I'm not stupid. Those baseballs come at you over 80 mph! So I had to tell her a big fat N-O on that one. Then she suggested hockey. But if I want my teeth separated from my mouth I could just ask my dentist to yank 'em for me. We moved down the list to golf. Mom said golf was a calm, relaxing, non-violent game but I beg to differ. If somebody nearby yells “fore!” and I don't hear them, they could get a hole-in-one. In my mouth. What? It could happen. Tennis? Not a chance. Tennis balls come at you just as quickly as baseballs. And the rackets, don't get me started on rackets. Cornhole? Heck no! Those beanbags could easily become dangerous weapons! For a split second, I thought chess would be good, but after some contemplating. What if some guy got mad and flipped a chess board and a pawn hit the other guy in the eye? I'd probably end up being the guy on the receiving end of things! So I scratched chess off my list. Then, out of the blue, Mom says, "How about football?" And I know, she's got it out for me.
Third Place Winner
By: Kallie Gatrell, Age 14, North Carolina, USA
Description: A penguin wonders why they are the only bird in the zoo not able to fly.
Genre: Comedic
Hey, Randy, can I talk to you about something? Wait, Randy, you actually might want to sit down for this. Okay, well, I feel like I'm a worthless bird. I mean out of all ten thousand bird species, why am I one of the 60 that can’t fly? That’s 0.6%. It’s not fair. Why can't I just soar like the mighty eagle? Why can’t I see this earth from a bird’s eye view? Honestly, I would even take the amount of flight a chicken has. Which isn’t a lot. I’m just an embarrassment to the zoo because all the other birds can fly, but I can't. Have you ever seen how all the little humans point and laugh at me? That’s a real blow to my confidence. I even heard that Eric in the owl exhibit was making fun of me just because I can’t fly while he's over there asleep all the time, getting waited on wing and foot. I'm done with all the ridicule I get just because I can’t fly. I mean, compared to them, I have some pretty great skills. I mean, are they able to slide on their stomachs? No. Can they swim underwater to catch fish? No. So why do they always say, "Hey, Chilly, how's the weather down there?" If they came down and just waddled in my flippers for a day, they might realize how hard it is to be me. I mean, at least I don’t have to worry about getting a sunburn… right? You know what, I'm done with the jokes, and I won't take them anymore. I'm proud of who I am, even if I'm not the same as everyone else. I'm going to show everyone that I'm just as capable as they are, even if I can't fly.
I Want to Be an Astronaut
Third Place Winner
By: Oana Mustata, Age 11, Sibiu, Romania
Description: A kid dreams of becoming an astronaut for the most fantastical reasons.
Genre: Comedic
(enthusiastically, with a sword in hand) Hey Mom! I have decided what I want to be when I grow up! I want to be an astronaut so I can fly with a rocket at super high speeds vrrrooommm, vrrrooommm! (pause) I guess I should think of what I want to take in my luggage. Hmmm. Chocolate cereals… those are goood. Oat cereals. those are good and also healthy. dog food, this sword, a camera of course, a knife, a food container, sunscreen, and a bottle. I think that's about it. (short pause) Well, I have eaten cereal with all kinds of milk except milk from the Milky Way… I think it's cosmically good! And that's what the bottle is for, to bring you some of it for your coffee! After I've had breakfast, I will go feed the puppies from Canis Major and Canis Minor. They're probably starving since no one feeds them. Then, I will go and explore space. I can't wait to see all those flying space rocks and the zoo in the sky! I know it has all sorts of interesting creatures, like the bears from Ursa Minor and Major, the winged horse from Pegasus, and the lion from Leo and I heard there's even a Phoenix! For lunch, I'm going to the Moon. There, I will need my knife, to cut some of that Swiss cheese and take some for you in the food container. Then, I will go to the Sun! I'll be the first human being who gets there! I'll need that sunscreen because I heard the Sun can burn your skin if it's too hot. My last stop will be Saturn, to marvel at its rings. I'll check it very closely, maybe it has an extra one. Let me tell you a secret, I did my research, and no one has a ring from Saturn, so it would be extra special, just for you! After I finish my adventures, I will head home. If I meet any aliens in their spaceships, I'll try to be friendly, but if they're hostile, I'll need my sword! You don't have to worry about me. As soon as I defeat them, I'll come home, give you the ring and we'll chat! We'll look at all the pictures I took, and you'll drink your Milky Way coffee and eat your Moon cheese. (pause) OK! I better go and prepare my luggage now. It won't be long until I grow up, so it's better to do this now so I don't forget anything!
Honorable Mention
By: Karly Anderson, Age 14, USA
Description: A student describes how school has become anything but safe.
Genre: Dramatic
School is safe, (spelling) S-A-F-E, safe. Safe is defined as being protected. Protected, (spelling), P-R-O-T-E-C-T-E-D. Protected means kept away from harm or injury. But school safety is diluted. Are we safe at school? S is for Shhh intruder in the building, everyone hide in the corner. A is for All students report to the gym until all threats have been cleared. F is for Fire, you can smell the smoke from your math class down the hall. E is for Everyone may now return to their normal schedule, as all issues have been resolved. School isn’t safe and protected. Protected, P, Please remain in shelter. R, Run! O, On the count of three, I need everyone to throw the desk. T is for is This a drill. E is for End of drill. C is for Click, Click, Click, of heels roaming the halls looking for prey. T is for Take cover. E is for Everyone remain calm. D is for Don’t move. Somewhere between safe and school we are no longer protected.
All Because of a Missing Hand
First Place Winner
By: Chaya P., Age 12, Gateshead, UK
Description: A doll explains why she is left alone in a dollhouse
Genre: Comedic
Here I am, stuck in a dollhouse in the children’s playroom. It’s so confusing because each time someone plays with me, I have a new family. I don’t know where I belong. And what’s worse is that now they leave me all alone. It started a few days ago, when one of those little human animals crawled into the playroom, picked me up, and promptly stuck me headfirst into her massive wet mouth. Then she started chewing on me until I felt my wrist get looser and looser until finally, my hand just snapped off. Then that little human animal started crawling and destroying everything else in sight. Now, they’ve left me in this dark, gloomy dollhouse without even batting an eyelid in my direction. All because of a missing hand.
Third Place Winner
By: Mia Westbrooke, Age 11, Iowa, USA
Description: A robber tries to convince their victim to keep quiet in exchange for a percentage of the loot.
Genre: Comedic
You're probably wondering why I've tied you up, allow me to explain. In case you hadn’t noticed, this is a robbery. I had to tie you up! You saw everything! Though I am willing to make a deal. If you keep your mouth shut and don’t go around snitching, my crew and I will give you…2% of everything we steal! Does that sound good? Oh wait, you have duct tape on your mouth. I should probably take that off. (rips it off) Sorry about that! That had to hurt! Woah! Woah! Woah! Calm down! I'm trying to make a deal with you, jeez! Listen, I’m not giving you any more than 2%. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M BEING “UNFAIR”?! I’M GIVING YOU MONEY IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR FREEDOM! Oh, so you’re gonna become a snitch now. I see how it is. You want 15%? Wow! You're hard to please. You know what? I’m feeling generous. I will give you 12% in exchange for you keeping your mouth shut. Finally, we agree on something. (unties) You're free to go! Meet us in the alley at 11:00 pm for the exchange. I know, I know, it’s late but we have to calculate and prepare some distractions, so we don’t get caught. (bomb goes off) That’s my cue! Gotta blast, but this was fun! DON’T FORGET!
How Do You Silence Your Phone?
First Place Winner
By: Addison Steffer, Age 14, Texas, USA
Description: A villain gets a phone call from their mother while fighting a hero.
Genre: Comedic
Well, well, well. take a look at what we have here. It would appear that you and the rest of your so-called "heroes" have been bested by a villain. By me! (Laughs manically) Oh, you poor, poor thing. You thought I was bad before? Just wait. I have all the power now. This is all going according to plan. And now, nobody can stop m- (phone rings) . One second please. (answers phone, starts whispering) . no, no, Mom, I can't talk right now. I'm busy. (Pause, getting louder) What do you think I'm doing? I'm working! Just turn on the news. You'll see me. (pause) Mom, I will not wave at the camera, I have a reputation to uphold. (pause) No, no, no, no, no, don't get dad. (waves) I'm waving, see? I'm waving! HI MOM! (Stops waving, turns back, and sighs) Anyway, why were you calling? Yes, of course, I'm coming to dinner, why wouldn't I be? (pause) No, Mom, I am not inviting them. (pause) I don't know, maybe because we are MORTAL ENEMIES? (Pause, turns to the hero) My Mom wants to know if you want to come for dinner tomorrow night. (Turns back to phone) They said no. (pause, turns back to hero) She said to tell you that it's meatloaf. (Turns back to phone) It's still a no. (pause) Ok, I really have to go now, Mom. Stop calling me while I'm at work. (pause) Because I don't know HOW to silence my phone. (pause) What do you mean there's a button? There's no button! (pause) Mom, I am not asking them to help me silence my phone. Do you know how embarrassing that would be? (pause) Fine, fine, I'll ask. (Turns to hero) How do you silence your phone? (Turns back to phone) They don't know either. (pause) Ok, Mom, I have to go, just don't call me while I'm working, ok? I'll see you tomorrow. (pause) Mhm, I love you too, bye. (Turns back to hero) Where was I? Oh, yes, that's right, I will become the most powerful villain on this planet, and NO ONE CAN STO- (phone rings) Mom, we just talked about this, what do you need? (pause) Wait, Stacy's Mom did what? (Pause, turns to hero) Sorry, I really need to take this. You can go. We can do this another time. (Turns back to the phone and walks away) You have got to be kidding. She cut all of her hair off? What does Stacy think about that? (exits)
Human, I Promise I Won’t Eat You
Third Place Winner
By: Maya Wilson, Age 12, Idaho, USA
Description: A misunderstood dragon tries to have a friendly conversation with a human.
Genre: Comedic
Hello little human! I've always wanted to talk to one of you guys, but never got the chance until now. Sorry, I'm pinning you down, but otherwise, I'm afraid you'll run away. (beat) No, I don't terrorize villages. You're thinking of my twin brother, he loves doing that. I have never killed a human in my life. Would you stop screaming, I am not going to hurt you. (beat) If you don't want to get eaten, why did you climb into my cave in the first place? Tip; if you don't want to become a dragon's lunch, then I recommend you don't waltz into their home. (beat) Thank you for finally realizing that I am your friend. (beat) Do I like treasure? Do I like treasure? Human, I am a dragon, of course, I like treasure! If I were you, I'd probably hide the watch, necklace, earrings, and rings before I take them. (beat) Yeah, I do steal sometimes, but my brother gave me half of the jewels I have. Okay, he probably destroyed a castle or two to get that gold, but that's my brother for you. Speaking of him, he's coming over today, so you'd better scurry along, it was nice to meet you! And, you're screaming again.
A Scientific Study
First Place Winner
By: Madison Fannin, Age 15, Tennessee, USA
Description: A child confronts their family after being ignored for two weeks.
Genre: Comedic
No one says good morning to me. I did an experiment for two weeks straight by not uttering a single word to any of you first. My hypothesis was proven correct. I am not spoken to unless I speak first. This is not a cry for help nor an…"Oh please, Mother! Your ignorance has driven me to my breaking point!" No. This was simply a scientific study. It's fascinating how my own family managed to ignore my existence for fourteen days. I wasn't asked to do any chores, or finish my homework, and I didn't have to attend Uncle Wyatt's funeral. RIP Uncle Wyatt: if only you had seen that bird headed straight for your jugular. Anywho, being invisible actually benefited me. I'm so glad none of you care for me because then I would actually have to care for you guys, too. And that's a lot of work on my part. But, good morning! Have a good day at work! Don't think about me too much!
I’m Not Coming Out of This Tree
Second Place Winner
By: Michelle G., Age 12, Oregon, USA
Description: A tree is a good place to go when you are in trouble
Genre: Comedic
I am not coming out of this tree. I’m gonna live here forever. Nobody understands me. Nobody listens. I get in trouble for everything, even if it’s not my fault. I wasn’t the only one who made a mess in the kitchen, but I’m the one who had to clean it up. I didn’t mean to break the window when we were playing baseball, but I still got in trouble. And I didn’t finish my homework because I don’t like homework! So yeah, I am just going to live up here for the rest of my life. You can just send my meals up in a bucket tied to a rope. And if you wouldn’t mind, I’d appreciate a blanket. And a pillow. And my toothbrush. And a flashlight. And my stuffed animals. And…ugh! This is too complicated. I’m coming down.
I Pledge Allegiance
Third Place Winner
By: Luis H., Age 14, Illinois, USA
Description: A student interrupts the pledge to question what it means.
Genre: Dramatic
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the…wait a minute. Excuse me Mr. Jacobs. I’m sorry to interrupt, but what does that mean? Pledge allegiance? I’ve been saying the pledge since I was five years old, but I never really thought about it until this exact moment. I pledge allegiance to the flag. I mean, pledge means promise, right? And I think allegiance means loyalty. So, I promise to be loyal to the flag? That’s weird. Why would I promise anything to a flag? The flag’s not a person. I mean, I get that it’s symbolic. The flag represents our country. But, what if our country is not living up to its part of the deal? What if it’s not being loyal to me? That doesn’t seem fair. Why should I promise my loyalty to a country that isn’t loyal to me? Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy I live here. I know I was lucky to be born in this country. But if I’m expected to be devoted and faithful to this country that believes in “justice for all,” doesn’t that mean me too?
First Place Winner
By: Madison Brown, Age 16, Idaho, USA
Description: A girl on Halloween encounters someone with a really cool and realistic costume.
Genre: Comedic
Hi! I saw you from across the street, and I just gotta say, I love your Halloween costume! It looks so realistic! I mean the fur and the teeth are really authentic. The mask even moves when you talk. It's such a convincing werewolf, you'd almost think it's real! Hahaha!! Honestly, it's kinda creepy. It looks like you could eat me and my grandma up. Get it? Because I'm Little Red Riding Hood? And her whole story was…whatever you get it. You know I DIY'd my costume, and it took me HOURS, but it's nowhere near as good as yours. Seriously, yours puts mine to shame. Heck, it puts everyone's costume to shame. So did you buy it or do it yourself? (Don't let him answer) I ALWAYS make my own because I'm so creative, but I understand that not everyone is as talented as me! Speaking of which, yours is so good you should enter the costume contest. I'd bet you win, which sucks for me, but hey maybe I'll get second, which is in some ways better than first. (giggles) You'll have to tell me where you got your costume, so I can win next year. If you tell me I'll invite you to my Halloween Party, which is going to be like totally cool, but if you don't you can't come! JK. Hahaha (Serious) But not really. So, tell me where did you get it? (He answers) Oh! You're a real werewolf. (awkward silence) Whatever, you can still come to my Halloween Party.
Is it a Fairytale?
Second Place Winner
By: Addie Page, Age 12, Idaho USA
Description: A girl texts a boy that she likes him.
Genre: Comedy
(pacing) Oh, what should I say? What should I say? (stops pacing) Oh, I know! (starts texting) I'd like to tell you something. Just promise you won't make fun of me. I've liked you for quite some time now and have decided to confess my feelings. (accidentally sends it) Oh no!! I just sent it. What if he thinks I'm weird for liking him? What if he likes me back? (to herself) Oh, stop it Linsay! You know he won't like you back. This is real life, not a fairytale! I know! I'll just try and make a cover story. (looks at phone nervously) Uh oh! He saw it! He's typing!! (waits a second) He… stopped. I can't believe I had hoped that he would like me. I mean look at me! I'm just the nerdy, smart girl that no one likes. (looks at the phone again and looks shocked) He likes me back! I think life just might be a fairytale!
Misunderstandings of a Villain
First Place Winner
By: Joy Seon, Age 12, Illinois, USA
Description: A villain tries to persuade you that they are the good guy.
Genre: Comedic
Sorry about the whole blindfolding and kidnapping thing. Here, let me just take this blindfold off. there you go! Welcome to my secret lair! Pretty cool, right? (sigh) Could you stop yelling for help so much? You're hurting my ears. I promise you I am not a bad guy… here. I only kidnapped you because you knew my secret identity. What else was I supposed to do? Let you tell everyone who I really am? No way. (beat) What was that? The 'heroes' will save you? They're not heroes. They're the bad guys! (beat) Stop saying I'm the bad guy! I do tons of great things. I have a family. yes, it's an evil crime family, but I also have a pet cat! What villain has a cat? (beat) No, I do not stroke it with one hand while laughing madly. What can I say to convince you I'm not a bad guy? I do community service. which by community service, I mean, committing crimes for my community. I also help elders get up when they fall down. after I push them. Okay, I can see why you might think I'm a villain, but I swear on my cat that I'm not! Oh shoot, the alarm is going off! Probably some so-called heroes here to rescue you. Don't you dare move a muscle. I'll be right back.
Lab Versus the Bunny
First Place Winner
By: Sanjana Bhahirathan, Age 13, Sydney, Australia
Description: A bunny finds itself in a lab that tests animals.
Genre: Dramatic
This all began on Monday. Monday the 26th of April. 44 hours, 36 minutes, and 50…7 seconds ago. I was simply chowing down on a carrot stick, when all of a sudden, I felt sick and dizzy. Then everything turned pitch black. The next thing you know, I found myself here, inside this chilly, dark, and ominous-looking structure. I really thought I was dead… but then I discovered my long-lost uncle! We had a nice catch-up and blah blah blah…Then suddenly the dreaded words came out. I didn’t want to believe him, but I had to. We are being tested for beauty products; Brands like Chanel, Dior! How did I go from being a happy rabbit living a life of freedom, to being chained up and tortured? They are experimenting on us with chemicals! Excuse me aren’t we entitled to a life? We are being held as if we were lab rats. There is no light. I’ve tried to flee, but I’m stuck. The only time I can escape is in my dreams. I dream of carrots, carrots, and more carrots. But then I wake up and I feel the excruciating pain. My shoulder, my skin, my muscles…completely burned through. It’s unbearable. I'm not going to die in misery though. Will you help me?
First Place Winner
By: Isabelle Bidal, Age 18, Ontario, Canada
Description: A straight-A student finds themself in detention
Genre: Comedic
Hey! Can you stop? Just for a second? Tapping your pencil on my chair for this whole 30 minutes won't make the time go by quicker. (tapping persists) Okay, fine, you want to talk? I can talk. Let's start with this - I have NEVER been in detention. Okay? I have been a straight-A student since I came out of the womb. I have participated in clubs you have never even heard of and my extracurricular record spans 5 pages. I have been captain of the debate club since you said your first word and believe it or not, sitting here beside (pause) obvious genius' like you is not exactly how I wanted to spend my time tonight. Why am I here? All I wanted to do was share some of my knowledge with this girl in class. (embarrassed) Unfortunately for me, I may have gone a bit overboard and called her a stupid wheel of cheese… Now I'll never be invited to her parties… It's not my fault some people are just born idiots…(pause) Can you.. Stop tipping your chair back. You're gonna… aaaand you fell.
From Ribeye to Filet Mignon
First Place Winner
By: Liam Cantin, Age 12, Quebec, Canada
Description: A middle aged dog is determined to not like babies…Especially not the one his human parents have brought home.
Genre: Comedic
This is the worse day of my life, for real this time. Worse than the time I had a tick stuck in my ear. I swear it wasn’t my fault. It was a big misunderstanding. I never intended to chew and steal the pacifier, I thought it was for me, a new gift! You would’ve snapped too if your owner brought back one of those revolting creatures, also known as a B.A.B.Y. Man, all they do is cry and cry and cry, twenty-four seven. This baby has stolen ALL of MY attention. How do you think that makes me feel, huh? One minute they're all like aww who's a good boy, who wants a doggy ice cream treat, do you want a belly rub, or a head scratch? What about a nice LONG walk? Then of course “Baby Erk” had to drop into our home. And they just dumped me, that's right, dumped me for that ugly, smelly, poop machine. I’m lucky if I eat three times a day. I used to get Ribeye, now all I get is Filet Mignon, the portion size dropped significantly, as well as the fat content! Uhhhh, I just vomited, thinking about him. You know what I need? A vacation. That would feel sooo good. I’d finally get a break from him pulling my poor tail and plucking my precious apricot colored-fur. Oh yes, my nose would finally be able to smell the sweet scent of roses. I wouldn’t be stressed to step in his “acid reflux” secretions. Oh, is that a piece of PB&J he just threw on the floor? You know what, maybe “Baby Erk” isn’t so bad? Maybe I can tolerate him? Just this once. No. I didn’t say we can be friends. don’t go putting words into my mouth!
Second Place Winner
By: Karly Anderson, Age 14, Texas, USA
Description: A young person is nervous about a big audition.
Genre: Comedic-Dramatic
Don’t you get it? Today is the day of THE audition. The audition where all my dreams could finally become a reality. I’m totally pumped. Well, except for the fact I’m scared. But just a little. I mean just because it’s my first major audition doesn’t mean I should worry. I mean naturally, I’m a worry-free person. But what if I don’t make it? What if I don’t get the part? That would be so embarrassing. I would have to change my name. I would never be able to show my face in public. I might have to move to a foreign land and live alone with 2 cats in an abandoned warehouse because I can’t make a living because no one wants to hire the girl who couldn’t land the role she had prepared for, for so long. (Moment of realization) Ok so maybe I’m like totally petrified.
Third Place Winner
By: Emma Fequet, Age 11, Quebec, Canada
Description: A girl begs her parents for a special doll.
Genre: Comedic
Why can't I have the doll? It's my half birthday! I deserve it 100%. But I really want the 2022 Barbie girl doll! And there are only ten left in the whole world! What can I do to convince you to buy it for me? Okay, hear me out. So, I was thinking that I could do the dishes! And even dry them! I can't reach the sink though, ummm, how about… I can make you BOTH, breakfast in bed for a full week! No?! Then a whole month! That's the most I can do! Never mind, I don't know how to cook… Ok then, I could give you five dollars from MY piggy bank, to help pay for the doll. Excuse me?! 100 dollars? That's impossible! Last time I checked, it was ten dollars. But I may have read the number wrong… Fine then if you're not gonna buy it for me, I guess I will have to buy it for myself! I am going to go pack my stuff, get a job, and move out! GOODBYE. (Starts to leave, but returns.) I'm sorry. I get it. I should be grateful for what I have. But could I HAVE IT, by any chance? Please!
The Long Walk Home
Third Place Winner
By: Sena Ramlyn
Description: Someone is lost on their way home after making an impulsive decision to take a different route through the forest.
Genre: Dramatic
It's been hours and I'm still lost. (looks around) Where am I? I think this is the right way, but I'm still scared. What if I don't ever find my way back? (shaking head) I knew I never should've taken this route. I know better than to trust my instincts. (to self) Calm down, you will be okay. You will find your way back. I wish it was that easy. I don't know which way to go, and this forest is so creepy and full of shadows! (sits on a tree stump) Why did I take this route? What did I expect would happen? I am so lost. I don't even want to go back! How am I going to explain this whole situation? Even if I try, I know I'll get the inevitable "Why didn't you take the normal route?" which will make me even more embarrassed. I just want to go home, man. (standing) I guess I'll just have to keep going even though this eerie forest is making me feel like I'm going insane. There has to be a way out of here. I'll find it eventually.
Inner Thoughts of an Ex-Lioness
First Place Winner
By: Erin Ryan, age 18, Pennsylvania, USA
Description: A cat muses on how its mistress doesn’t appreciate it enough.
Genre: Comedic
I can't believe this; I'm locked out again. After all I do for her, following her around the house to keep her safe, bringing her gifts, that I have hunted for her. And yet, she chooses to keep me locked outside of this door. I can sit here, and I can meow for hours, knowing she's right inside. But rarely does she open the door to me now. (pause) Perhaps it is because I take a special interest in some of her plants. But I think they are rather nice against my fangs and surely, she would understand that. I mean I see her do something with her teeth, it must be similar right? But every time I try to do something with my teeth I get shooed out. (pause) I have been her protector since I came here. If only they would try to understand me. When I walk to the door that is clearly a sign I no longer wish to be here. But she waits for me to sit and beg, like some kind of… dog. (pause) Although I guess she can be useful for some things like bringing down the jar of the magic tasty food and cleaning out the old poop box. But other than that, honestly, I could live alone. I used to run outside all day and night before I came here. Now I'm forced to stay inside, just watching the nature that I used to prowl. So, when I ask for things like to be let into her room, I expect a little more pep in the step. Especially since they have tamed me into a protector. (gasp) Don't even get me started on those things they call dogs. Oh! Big. Wet. Smelly. And there's two of them. They're the bane of my existence. I will not make friends with such oafish creatures. I will stick to my own. And keep yelling at the door, hoping one day she'll let me in again.
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
What Are You So Afraid Of?
First Place Winner
By: Trinity Marmo, Age 14, Washington, USA
Description: No one can convince this child to get on the boat. The ocean is a scary place and a child’s imagination is even scarier.
Genre: Comedic
I can't swim and you want me to go on a boat in the MIDDLE of the ocean. I would rather stay here on the docks, thank you very much. (Referencing stuffed rabbit) Mrs. Bunny says I can´t go, and you know nothing will change her mind. She's scared of the ocean and her stuffing could get wet! (Not convincing, they turn to new tactics.) Please, don't make me go! What if I fall in, what happens then? The ocean is so unpredictable. What if a shark bites my head off? Or some crazy sea monster grabs my legs and pulls me down. Have you seen the creepy stuff that's down there? Not even scuba gear can save us from the horrors of the ocean! Frankly, I don't know how YOU aren't scared of the ocean. There are so many things to be afraid of. (Dramatically sets the scene) Seriously just imagine it, a storm suddenly hits, the air grows cold, and the sky darkens. You feel yourself panic, the waves getting bigger and bigger! You look to your left and a gigantic wave is coming towards you! See doesn't that sound scary to you? Well, I know it's a sunny day, but it could still happen! Please don't make me go on that boat!
Third Place Winner
By: Shelby Diner
Description: A teenager tries to write a letter to their brother who is in the military
Genre: Dramatic
(Jack is sitting at his desk in his room with a single piece of paper and a pencil on his desk.)
Ok, where to start? (Taps pencil on his head) Hey Jason, the house is quiet without you here. (Grabs the paper and crumbles it up) Why is this so dang hard. UHHHH. What should I write? Hey Jason. Life is boring without you here and it makes me so upset that you are overseas. UH! (Grabs a new piece of paper) Hey Jason, the house is quiet and boring without you here. Life has been rough, people at school are laughing and making fun of me, they say things like (in a funny accent) "You're so ugly" or "Wow where do you get your clothes," and it reminds me of when you used to stand up for me. I'm almost always late to school because mom wakes up so late. Please come back and fix everything. (Looks across the hall) Your room is very dark. I opened the windows and watered your plants. Your trophies are all dusty. The pool is green, and I don't know how to fix it. I tried to mow the lawn, but I think I messed up and the lawnmower doesn't work anymore. Please come home, I miss you. - Love, Jack (Grabs paper folds it up, and puts it in an envelope)
First Place Winner
By: Emily McLaren, Age 14, Sydney, Australia
Description: Medusa waits in her cave at the top of a mountain hidden from the world, until Perseus arrives with a sharp sword and shield.
Genre: Dramatic
You don't waste time, do you? I thought it would take longer for you to arrive. It's quite a momentous mountain. The other men took far longer. (Medusa is amused at Perseus looking at the statues surrounding him) Don't be scared, they can't hurt you. They're just… statues, now. So, am I right to assume you've come for my head? It was wise of you to bring a shield. No one's been smart enough to try that before. Though I suppose it wasn't really your idea, was it? Only someone with the blessings of Athena could have enough foresight to think of using something shiny to deflect my gaze…You won't need it. I'm not planning on turning you to stone anyway. There is just something I need you to do for me, and my head is yours. All you have to do is turn princess Andromeda and Poseidon's Sea serpent into stone. After that I don't mind what you do. You will have a deadly weapon for life. No one will dare oppose you. That power will be better in your hands then mine. It will be better if I'm dead. My life is useless anyway. I can't make any friends, can't fall in love, or be loved, and I can't even walk into town without everyone around me turning into garden ornaments. The only thing I want to have before I leave this world is the knowledge that I got my revenge on Athena, the goddess who made me like this. If you turned Andromeda to stone Athena would be furious. Turning the serpent to stone wouldn't hurt either. After all, Poseidon is the reason why Athena was even mad to begin with. If he hadn't made me fall in love with him, I never would have been turned into… this! And besides, if you turn that monster into stone, you'll be a hero! You won't even need to barter the fates for your fame like Achilles did! You'll be famous without any drawbacks! Though if you go back on your word and marry the princess, I swear I'll be cursing you from the underworld. You'll have to live with that regret for the rest of your days. Knowing that you angered an old priestess tired of the world and its trials. So, do we have a deal?
By: Alyssa Flowers, Age 14
Description: This person has been lying for so long they are not sure why want to stop.
Genre: Dramatic
Someone who knows me well enough might call me a liar. I call it decorating the truth. I mean, what you don’t know can’t hurt you, right? I’ve been this was as long as I can remember. Everyone around me thinks I am a goody two-shoes, always doing everything to the best of my ability, wouldn’t hurt a fly. The only person who sees me for who I truly am is my best friend, Rebecca. She is the one who taught me how to lie without giving myself away. It’s come in very useful with the lie detector tests I’ve been through. I know I should start telling the truth, but honestly, it’s nice when people think you’re better than they are. It’s nice when they think you have everything they don’t have. It gives you a superior feeling. And I don’t think I want that feeling to go away quite yet.
Third Place Winner
By: Nicholas Schaeffer, Age 12, Ontario Canada
Description: A nerdy kid asks his friend for advice on how he can talk to a girl he finds cute.
Genre: Comedy
I need some advice. (Shyly) I kinda like the new girl Jessica. (Quickly warning!) But you can't tell anyone ok! I'm just not sure the best way to approach her. (In a very nerdy way) Statistics show that the easiest way to get someone to like you is to be popular. But I'm not popular. Science also shows that to become popular you should spend time with popular people. (Snaps fingers with idea!) Wait a minute. Why don't I talk to Jake? He is definitely the coolest kid in school. How can I impress him? Throw a football 20 yards? Break the school record in track and field? Do a backflip? Ugh! You're right. Who am I kidding? I can't do any of those things! I've got it. I'll just give him the answers for the test. That's easy. That will totally make him think I'm cool. Next thing you know, I'll be popular. Maybe then I'll get up the courage to talk to Jessica.
Second Place Winner
By: Emily Newland, Age 17, Georgia, USA
Description: A young person ruminates about their military family.
Genre: Dramatic
You shouldn’t be upset about not getting what you want, especially when what you want is so materialistic. Be thankful for what you have, for who you have. You have two parents who love you, who are always there. You have the liberty of not worrying about whether your mom will come home. Or if your dad will come home- as himself. I cherish the moments I have with my family because I know that at any time, they can be taken away from me; Off to fight some war and never come back. Or even worse, when they do come back, they’re a little less themselves. Do you know how it feels to know that the people you love are suffering - that internally they’re losing themselves? Do you know how it makes a little girl feel to see her parents fade away? No. No, you don’t. Stop being so selfish and appreciate what you have. I would do anything to get my family back.
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
Third Place Winner
By: Jayla and Selene, Age 13, New South Wales, Australia
Description: An astronaut gives a rather enlightening talk about space.
Genre: Comedic
(Astronaut enters, tripping and staggering) Sorry, sorry, my legs are still getting use to gravity. Thank you for coming to my seminar on "Gallivanting through the Asteroid Cosmonaut Magnitude of Outer Planets through Orbit." For the kiddies out there… SPAAAACE! To get to space, first I had to go seventeen-thousand-five-hundred miles per hour. Or FAAAAST! And it's very cold in space-brrrr! It's minus two hundred and seventy degrees Celsius! Lucky my granny knitted me a warm jumper! And let's not forget about the leg warmers! She was like . (Turns dramatically to the side, lowers glasses and hunches over, shaking a finger, mimicking granny.) "You young whipper-snippers don't know how lucky you are! Back in the day, if we wanted to go to space, we had to build our own rocket ship. We weren't given one by NASA." (Straightens up again) A lot of people think I went to space to explore the planets, but I was just trying to escape my old granny! Next thing I know, I'm working for NASA. Lucky, I liked the suit! (Holding up a real rock, or pantomimed rock.) Here's a memento I brought back from space. You'll know it's from space because it's labelled "space rock". You bet that I'll be selling this on eBay for millions! But we don't want people putting googly eyes on it and turning it into a pet rock, so I think I'll keep it. (Drops rock on foot, hops around, clutching his toes.) Shi-Schnitzel with gravy! Schnitzel with gravy! Sorry, I keep forgetting I'm on Earth, where gravity exists. Since returning home, I've dropped eggs, the family dog… I've even dropped a mic, not on purpose though. Wasn't even saying anything clever … Anyway, why I'm here today is no laughing matter. I'm here because when I was in space, I saw a massive group of unicorns flying with swords in their mouths. NASA says hallucinations are simply a side effect of being in space, like when astronauts report seeing streaks of light that come from nowhere. NASA says they are just cosmic rays-tiny particles launched by the explosions of distant stars-But I say they are UNICORNS! And because NASA doesn't believe me, or they think I ate too many Mars bars and am lacking oxygen, they've dismissed it. BUT I'M TELLING YOU, I SAW THEM! WITH THEIR MASSIVE HORNS! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE PEOPLE! THEY'RE COMING FOR US! (Disorientated, lies on the ground, trying to run away, makes a dramatic exit.)
Shrimp Fried Rice
Second Place Winner
By: Jeremiah Reid, Age 16, North Carolina, USA
Description: A person who takes things a little too literally gets quite upset when their date orders shrimp fried rice.
Genre: Comedic
Woah, woah, woah! Hold on just a minute here waiter. I wasn't gonna say anything before, because I'm no marine biologist, but if she (gestures across) is gonna order that, I'm gonna have to speak up. Now, when I saw it on the menu I did some research, and I am fairly certain there is no way that is possible. I mean, shrimp? Frying rice? The very concept is preposterous! There are a million issues I can think of! There is no way shrimp could get their tiny little hands on the frying pan, and I don't think they have the brain capacity to know when rice is done cooking. On top of that, there has to be a health code violation here! I mean, it says on the menu: "warning: consumption of raw meat or poultry may cause food poisoning," but it doesn't say anything about consumption of food prepared by meat or poultry! (Turns across) Look, I'm gonna be honest. I was fully prepared to propose to you tonight. I have the ring and everything! But if you are seriously going to give in to the delusions of this restaurant and order "shrimp fried rice," I don't think I can anymore. In fact, I think we should see other people. This is false advertisement, and I will not, no, CAN not stand for it! Can you imagine walking into the kitchen to see an army of little crustaceans manning the grill? It's insane! It's delusional! The only explanation I can think of is a sort of ratatouille situation, where there's a shrimp controlling the human cooking the food, but if that's the case the shrimp certainly shouldn't be mentioned in the name of the dish! I mean what's next, "manta ray steamed vegetables?" Oh OK, now I'm "causing a scene?" You know what's causing a scene? THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE SHRIMP PREPARING FOOD! I can't take this tomfoolery anymore; I'm taking my business elsewhere! Good day to you sir, but a terrible day to whoever decided to claim shrimp could cook! (Storms offstage)
Who Do You Think You Are?
Third Place Winner
By: Kathryn McAllister, Age 12, Minnesota, USA
Description: Olivia meets a girl who might just take her place as the dance captain, and she is not happy about it.
Genre: Dramatic
Excuse me, yeah hi. I'm Olivia, the dance captain. That was a pretty good dance routine, but it's nowhere as good as the one I did when I auditioned for the squad. I know you think you can just waltz in here and take my place, but I got news for you, it's not happening. I mean who do you think you are? Trying to take the place I worked so hard to get. You are a monster. And again, I say WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I know who I am, I'm the queen of this place and there is nothing you can do to change that.
A Seagull’s Struggle
Second Place Winner
By: Chris Foley, Age 12, Newfoundland, Canada
Description: A seagull struggles to find satisfaction in life.
Genre: Comedic
So I’ve come to the conclusion that life is unfair. I’m not really sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m a seagull. Remember me? I’m the guy that steals all your french fries when you drop your food in the parking lot. I think a lot of people assume that I have it easy. I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all. You humans have just about every opportunity that life has to offer. But not for me! Nothing for Mr. Seagull other than flying around aimlessly and eating stray garbage. I used to think it would be great if I could just swim, you know, underwater like a fish. They seem so happy, swimming around, enjoying life, shouting insults at me. Not all fish are horrible though. This one time, I was flying above a river, and I saw what I thought was a piece of food. I swooped down to get it and caught it in my beak. As it turns out, it was actually a live salmon named Barry. So I put him back in the river. I didn’t really want to kill a man on a Saturday afternoon. And once he stopped spouting nonsense in between screaming and hyperventilating, I told him about my whole swimming ordeal and he agreed to help me learn to swim. I tried, but I should’ve known it wouldn’t work. I have to face it. I’ll never be able to swim. I just wasn’t born for it I guess. Some people tell me to just live with it and move on. Find happiness in what I already have, but how am I supposed to do that, when the most interesting thing I do on a day-to-day basis is orchestrate french-fry heists and fight crows over old sandwiches? Trust me, that sounds a lot more exciting than it is. I just don’t get it. Everyone else seems to be happy with what’s handed to them…ecstatic, even. Why am I the only one who isn’t satisfied?
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
Watch another video performance of this monologue here!
When My Dreams Come True
Third Place Winner
By: Owen Leung, Age 12, Sydney, Australia
Description: When a gamer gets the PS4 all their dreams come true. Or do they?
Genre: Comedic
It was time! Time to finally unbox my new PS4 console. I’d spent so many hours online just waiting to click “purchase.” I didn’t care if it was pricey because I knew that it would be totally worth every single dollar. When I unboxed the console, I was in awe. I had gotten two games, Rocket League and Uncharted the Lost Legacy. Both had really great reviews. I plugged in the console and put batteries in my controller. Click! The machine booted up and I was ready to play. After a few hours, I had won several matches of Rocket League so I switched to playing Uncharted the Lost Legacy. Playing this game was like being in another reality. It was soooo good. But then do you know what happened? PS5 was announced! I was furious! I should have saved up more pocket money, but I was too impatient. But there was nothing I could do about it, so I just kept playing. Holding and gripping my controller, I could feel the vibrations bursting through my hands. Then BOOM! My game crashed and the console overheated. My gaming career is over. I’m devastated. All that money, all that effort, all for nothing. Now I’ve gotta save up for the $700 PS5. It will probably take me 2 years. Then with my luck, the PS6 will be announced.
The True Feelings of Godzilla
First Place Winner
By: Jordan Onyia, Age 10, Newfoundland, Canada
Description: Godzilla is looking for a little understanding as he apologizes for his actions.
Genre: Comedic
Guys, I know I knocked over a couple of buildings, but if you were my size, you would too. I’m not such a bad guy if you really get to know me. I don’t mean to alarm you. I bet you’d scream too if you stubbed your toe on a corner store. Oh, and sorry about the hot dog guy, he made me mad when he got my order wrong. It gets lonely being this big and living in the ocean. That’s why I thought the Statue of Liberty would make a nice girl friend. Sorry I knocked her over. It was an accident. By the way, it is hard to turn with a tail this long. Sometimes, stuff gets swept away, you know. Tell City Hall that I’m sorry their building is now a boat. So give a monster a break will ya?
Mother of a Reader
Third Place Winner
By: Jordan Dittamo, Age 12, Virginia, USA
Description: A mother wants her daughter to stop reading and help out around the house.
Genre: Comedic
Jessie? Jessie! Come do the dishes! You can’t? Why not? You’re reading? Oh well. There are worse things.
Jessie? Jessie! Help me with the groceries! No? You’re at a good part? Fine. Just this once.
Jessie? Jessie! Can you watch your brother for a bit, while I go out? You’re almost done? Ok. I’ll hire a sitter.
Jessie? Jessie! Will you please take out the trash? You’re busy? Five minutes, that’s all.
Jessie? Jessie! Help me set up for your sister’s party! Put down that book! Right now! Oh, your favorite character died? I’m sorry. I’ll let you mourn. Don’t worry. Take all the time you need.
Jessie? Jessie! Fold your laundry! You’re at a boring part? Then why can’t you help? Ohh. You have to get through it, so you can read the more exciting part? Ok…
Jessie? Jessie! We’re going to the bookstore! Oh, so now you’re available.
Second Place Winner
By: Adela Fless, Age 11, Whistler, Canada
Description: Maya discovers she really wants to be an astronaut, but her parents have other plans for her.
Genre: Dramatic/Comedic
How was my day at school? Uh, you know, it was average- Just your regular old school day. Nothing special. Humdrum, basic, repetitive, run of the mill-Just plain old-fashioned school. Ugh, who am I kidding!? I’m over the moon! Pun intended! We started an astronomy unit in science class today and I really love it! Don’t act so excited. Well, we got to learn about rocket boosters. Man, those things are crazy powerful! We even did a 3D flight simulation on the computer and Billy fell out of his chair! Everyone started laughing, except me. I was too busy admiring the planetary posters on the wall. “To infinity and beyond!” Well, actually, they’re made out of aluminum or titanium. Lightweight, yet very strong! I learned about it in a book. You know, those things you always encouraged me to read? Well, I’ve been reading a lot of books about space. Wait! You’re what? I don’t want to volunteer at the clinic! I'm not going to become a doctor! (beat) Um…nothing! I said nothing! (beat) Wait! It’s just. I kind of, I- Well- Uh. I. I want to become an astronaut. I know you want me to be a doctor, but I love astronomy and I actually think I'm good at it! You both have this fantasy of me becoming a doctor, but I just don’t have the passion! Can you pass the gravy? Please? I just want you to think about how I could excel as an astronaut! I could make a discovery that could change the course of the world as we know it, and I need to start somewhere. You agree? Okay! So, there’s a big astronomy camp this summer and at the end, it turns out there’s going to be a surprise test. The person who gets the highest mark wins a scholarship to a prestigious astronomy program in the fall. If I win, I could actually have a good chance at making my dream come true! What do you say? It’s a deal? Great! Can you please pass the beef? Speaking of beef, why is beef tastier in space? It’s meatier.
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
Zoom, Zoomy, Zoom
Third Place Winner
By: Jade Preeya-Werba, Age 13, Islamabad Pakistan
Description: A teacher struggles to teach her class virtually
Genre: Comedic
All right. Good morning, class. Welcome back to another day of online school. Hope you are all doing well. Let’s get started. Wait, before we start, um, Jason, can you please turn on your camera? It’s required to have it on. EARTH TO JASON. Please turn your camera on. JASON. *sigh* Okay, then. Oh, Felicia, can you please adjust your screen so we can see you and not your forehead? Oh- dear, that’s too much. Can you adjust it so we can’t just see your mouth? We want to see your whole face. Maybe move your screen back a little? It’s fine. We’ll figure it out later. All right, class. Seems like we can finally get started. Earl, son? You’re un-muted. Why are you watching Youtube? It’s not even the most boring part of my class yet! Ugh, Mia, please would you get out of bed? We are literally in class right now. You can’t be sleeping in class! Get out of bed and find a desk already! Sean? What is that? You can’t hear me? Oh. Uhhh, have you tried reloading the zoom page? You can’t reload zoom? Oh. How about you try to leave and rejoin? Okay? Oh no. Geena, it looks like your frozen. Are you frozen? You’re frozen. AHH, MUTE YOUR MIC DEAR. MY EARS. PLEASE. TURN. OFF. YOUR. MICROPHONE. Thank you. Moving on- oh, what a pleasant surprise! Everyone, look here! My cat, Peanut has decided to join our lesson- OH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT IT. GET OFF MY COMPUTER. GET. OFF. NOW. *hurling motion with hands* Sorry about that. Guys, I realize we have been doing this for months now, but we only gotta hang in for a little longer. And yes, it’s been hard, and extraordinarily frustrating, but I believe that we can do it, so let’s go to it. Only a little longer guys. We’ll be in school soon enough. Come on…And I disconnected from the lesson. In the middle of my inspirational speech. Okay, I will not cry. I will not cry.
Honorable Mention
By: Caroline Seawell, Age 15, South Carolina USA
Description: A frustrated theater student brainstorms ideas for a monologue they must write.
Genre: Comedic
C’mon brain, THINK! This monologue is due tomorrow and I have nothing! Not a single word! This sucks, I am going to fail my theater class all because I can’t come up with one stupid paragraph. Perhaps some cookie dough ice cream could help me think? No! I can’t eat yet! I have to stay focused! Maybe I should make it about love or something. Teachers like to read stuff like that, right? Or I could write about a kid with a scar who gets a letter from a foreign school and finds out he’s a wizard and, wait, nope that’s Harry Potter. Ooh, maybe I could write about a character who can’t come up with a monologue and they are trying to brainstorm ideas on what to write about. No, that is way too meta. Ugh. I am making this way harder than it has to be but I really can’t fail, I just can't! If I fail this, then I have a B on my report card, then I'll lose motivation and then that B will turn into an F and then boom! I’m failing all of my classes and I drop out of school to become a sign spinner outside of KFC. Not to mention that my mom would kill me. I wouldn’t blame her either. If I was a single mom working two jobs just to provide for a kid who failed all of their classes I would be mad too. She really is the best. She’s always supported my love of theater and to be honest I wouldn’t be where I am without her. She’s my hero. Wait a minute, that’s it! I should write a monologue about my mom and how hard she works every day! This is going to be so good. I think all of this brainstorming has earned me a visit with some of my good friends: Ben and Jerry.
Forgive, Forget, and Fiddlesticks
Honorable Mention
By: Isabella Besly, Age 13, Texas USA
Description: The protagonist is mad at their best friend and tries to give them the silent treatment.
Genre: Comedic
I’m not talking to her. She knows what she did. (beat) No, I don’t think I’m overreacting. I’m not! (turns to someone who's not there) You know what you did! (turns back around) Snickerdoodles. I’m not supposed to be talking to her. I’m giving her the silent treatment, if that’s not clear. She deserves it. She knows what she did. (turns to back and looks really annoyed, then yells) I’m not talking to you! (turns back around) Dolly Parton. I just talked to her. I’m really bad at this “ignoring your best friend because she stabbed you in the back, showing you the cold, merciless person she really is after thinking you knew her since kindergarten”, aren’t I? Well, live and learn. (pauses like someone’s talking to her, gets really mad then turns to where the invisible “friend” is) I will not forgive and forget! (turns around and sighs) Fiddlesticks. I talked to her. Again. Ugh. I think she’s trying to get me to snap at her so she can talk to me. But she doesn’t even deserve my yelling. Traitors don’t deserve anything. (beat) I’m going to ignore her. Really ignore her. I’m not going to talk to her nor acknowledge her existence. She’s dead to me. (turns to the friend) You’re dead to me! (exasperatedly) Tea and crumpets! (exhales) Starting now. She’s dead to me starting now. Ugh, why do you think I’m overreacting? I’m not. Do you really want to know what that cockroach did? Fine she- (turns around and starts to talk to the “friend” but stops themselves and turns back around) Did you see that? I totally ignored her. Well, maybe I turned to her, but I didn’t say anything. Nothing! Rainbows and unicorns, that felt good! (beat and gets sad) But, now it doesn’t. (turns to where the “friend” is) Shish Kabobs. I really messed this up, didn’t I? I just threw away a friendship after one mistake. I mean, it was a big mistake, huge. Like Godzilla couldn’t even—okay not the time. (sighs) I don’t know if I can ever forget what she did. But I can try to forgive, can’t I?
First Place Winner
By: Catherine Young, Age 12, Texas USA
Description: A teenage girl explains why she hates Valentine’s Day while grocery shopping.
Genre: Comedic
Valentine's Day is the most stupid holiday that has ever existed if you ask me. It's just all of these big-money corporate companies profiting off of naive romantics by selling aphrodisiacs, like chocolates. (Picks up a heart shaped box of chocolates.) You know what chocolate's made of? Cacao. Now, cacao looks delicious from the outside, but boy, is it disgusting. It's grainy, bitter - just like the L word itself. (Puts aside the box of chocolates and continues on down the aisles.) Riddle me this - why should an innocent teenager be bombarded with all of this, this pink, red, artificial, sugary sweetness when just going to the store to pick up some Doritos? All I really want today is to grab these chips, head to my room, and drown out the yelling from my parent's room with the screams from Chainsaw Massacre #2, because believe it or not, that movie is slightly less terrifying than what's going on outside my bedroom door. (Accidentally steps on a teddy bear with a tag that says, "I Love You.") And the worst part - everything, everything, everything, everywhere you look, has the L word on it. You know, the L word? (Whispers.) Love? Why should I have to see that word, over and over again? Every time I look at it, it feels like a punch straight to my gut. And being in a grocery store the day before Valentines, that L word isn't exactly scarce. Why do I have to suffer through this? Why do I have to be ambushed by this word at a drugstore when it's a word that my parents don't even say to each other anymore? (Pauses, reigning in her emotion, and scowls at the bear.) Who would even buy such a stupid thing? 'I love you beary much?' Disgusting. (She reaches to put the bear on the shelf, but is interrupted by a phone call. She is now speaking into the phone.) Hello? Oh, yeah, hey Charlie. Charlie from science, right? (Pauses.) Oh, no, I don't have any plans tomorrow. Why? Yeah, I know tomorrow's Valentine's day . . . ok, um, sure. I'll meet you at the movie theatre at 7. Who else is go - oh, it's just gonna be us? (Begins to smile.) That sounds great. See ya then! (She smiles and hangs up the phone.) I mean . . . Valentine's Day is still stupid.
It’s All Because of Me
Second Place Winner
By: Lorna McGregor, Age 12, Colorado USA
Description: A god explains why humans are greedy.
Genre: Comedic
If you had listened during history class, instead of dozing off or chatting with your friends online, you’d probably know how royalty in Ancient Mesopotamia and Ancient Egypt considered themselves close to the gods. Well, I'm a prince and-believe it or not- a true god. My sister is a god too. We're only minor deities though so we aren't that important but we still have to go to all the meetings. Like the meeting when humans were created. Well not you guys but your ancestors. The big guy had us come in just so we could talk about making "a creature of power that can eat anything.” Now I'm not a god who would say, "Oh My Gosh! We should totally do that!" Definitely not! I can't even believe I just acted that out. Anyway, I'm the minor deity of lies and trickery. So I said, "Sure, why not." You see, whenever a new species is created, all of its traits are put in a big pot and left to mix. When humans were created, I snuck some things of my own into that pot. What things you may ask? Well, have you heard of the Seven Deadly Sins? I created them. My personal favorite is greed. I just love watching humans scramble for power and kill each other in the process. It makes me feel proud. But in the end I was punished for it. I was sent here to the mortal plain to live until I'm six hundred and sixty-six. Until then, I'll just sit back and enjoy the show.
I Don’t Like Chocolate
Third Place Winner
By: Henry Boudolf, Age 12, South Carolina USA
Description: When you think you don’t like chocolate, but then you try it.
Genre: Comedic
I don't like chocolate. There, I said it. I don't like chocolate and there is nothing you can do to make me think otherwise. What good is chocolate anyway? It only comes in like two flavors! You also can't keep it in your pocket. It'll just melt! That gooey melted-ness along with the color is just… And in case you're wondering why I would need to put chocolate in my pocket, it would obviously be so I could eat it at school! And I am no barbarian. I follow the rules of being a kid and remember to eat my candy BEFORE my food. And another thing, chocolate is poisonous to dogs! I have three dogs, so if I accidentally left chocolate just laying around then my dogs might EAT IT. (React to thought of what could happen to dogs.) Have I tried it, you ask? No, I have not. I have not, and will not, ever try chocolate. Not even if you pay me five bucks to do it. Or ten. Maybe fifteen. Fine, I will eat this chocolate bar for 20 bucks. (Eats the chocolate) That… WAS THE GREATEST THING EVER! Give me more please!
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
Watch another video of this monologue here!
The Pompeii Project
Honorable Mention
By: Alayna Hall, Age 11, South Carolina USA
Description: A unique take on the story of Pompeii.
Genre: Comedic
I know all about Pompeii. Not from history class. I was talking to my friends through most of that. But from that cool water ride at Busch Gardens. It’s so fun! When Mrs. Jones assigned us a group project we had to level up on creativity. Especially since we hadn’t paid attention. You should have seen us trying to brainstorm! It almost looked like our brains were going to explode out of our heads! We all had so many weird ideas, but mine was the overall greatest. I knew that Pompeii was an ancient Roman city, and somehow a volcanic eruption turned the place into ashes. So we decided to make a model that showed what it looked like during the eruption. We just started smashing stuff together. Our hands were so sticky from all that glue that when we touched anything, it became one with our hands! It was a disaster, but so was Pompeii. When we finished the project we were exhausted. But it was all worth it! We walked into the room carrying our masterpiece hidden by a cloth. Everyone looked at us like we were crazy. Because it was my idea, I did the honors. I took one deep breath and then pulled off the cloth. Everyone laughed. Mrs. Jones just glared at me. I read the label on the front of it aloud. It said. Busch Gardens Pompeii.
First Place Winner
By: Konrad Poniatowski, Age 12, Pennsylvania USA
Description: The Wolf from the Three Little Pigs complains to his cellmate in jail.
Genre: Comedic
What am I in for? You’ve got to be kidding me. You don’t watch TV? You heard about the Pigs, right? Well, what they’re saying about me is fake news. The name’s Wolf, Trevor Wolf. Lemme tell you the truth about this whole “Three Little Pigs” thing. So, I walk up to the first little porker’s house to welcome him to the neighborhood. It's not my fault that I breathe and the blasted straw hut falls over. It was made out of gosh darn hay! How does it NOT fall over? Fine. Go to jail. Get the T-shirt. Next Grunter’s house. This one is made of wood, but those sure ain’t 2x4s I’m looking at. Whoosh! Crash! Clang! The result, more time. I mean, those houses weren’t even up to building code, how am I the one being sent to jail here? (Beat) What? No! I never threatened to eat them. We never spoke any words to each other ‘til the trial! Anyway, the third swine’s house looked at least legal, until I knock on the door and a dragon pops out! That sure ain’t legal. As I was running away I knocked over a flowerpot…and I may have climbed onto the roof. But that’s only ‘cause of that dragon inside breathing fire everywhere! Don’t even get me started with the trial. I never “assaulted” or “harassed” anyone at any time. If anything, this dragon assaulted and harassed me! And the jury! That jury was supposed to be impartial? If they were impartial, I’ll eat my tail! I mean come on, 15 years in the can? Just for trying to say hello? No wait. I guess it was 17. I got 2 years just for stepping on that flowerpot. Anyway, that’s my story. What’re you in for? (Beat) Oh…you’re that guy. You didn’t eat the granny either? You know, that Little Red Riding Hood looked like a liar to me. We’re all innocent, I tell ya.
Third Place Winner
By: Lila Drowos, Age 11, Florida, USA
Description: A shark confides in their therapist that they are vegetarian.
Genre: Comedic
You know, I don’t like being a shark. I mean, sure, I look pretty cool… (Actor pretends to look up and down their body, then smirks, but then sighs) But everyone is scared of me! Whenever I try to go talk to a little fish or even a human, they run off screaming about how I will eat them. I can’t even talk to my neighbors! It’s so unfair. Well… (Sighs) Here’s a secret. I’m a vegetarian. Yeah, I only eat plants. It’s hard under the sea, but water plants actually taste pretty great. (Grins, but then stops smiling and frowns.) The other sharks don’t like it. They say I have to eat fish like the rest of them. They say I have to eat meat like everyone else. They don’t accept me, because I’m a vegetarian shark. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. (Suddenly excited) Hey, look, a fish! (Turns away from the audience, calling to the fish.) Hey there! Wait, come back! I- (Sadly) Oh. No one understands me. I have sharp teeth and a scary face that everyone fears. It’s like I’m a criminal… except I never did anything wrong! That’s why I need your help. I just want to be understood.
Dreaming of Being a Knight!
By: Morgan Hatfield, Age 15, Texas, USA
Description: A little boy has big dreams about becoming a medieval knight, but instead he's stuck in his suburban life.
Genre: Comedic
You know, I’ve always wanted to be a knight. Knights get to be praised and go on amazing adventures, fighting dragons and saving princesses! That’s the life for me. The books I read say that you can only be knighted if you come from a noble family or do a great deed. Well, I don’t come from a noble family, but my dad is a governor! That counts right? And I’ve done so many great deeds before! I mean, just yesterday I helped Mrs. Jackson walk her dog! And I don’t have to worry about training, I’ve already got the training I need. I mean, no other kid on the block can climb the large oak tree like I do! That’s basically the same thing as climbing a tower to save a damsel in distress! I guess I’d also have to be brave to be a knight, but I’ve already mastered that too! After all, it’s no easy task scaring away raccoons from trash cans every other day. I’ve tried to prove that I’m brave enough to walk down the streets at night by myself, but Mom won’t let me. No one has recognized how fit I am to be a knight yet, but they will eventually! I believe that someday, I’ll do something so noble that a mighty king will have to knight me. But now, there is a task before me that I must conquer. Every knight has their dragon to slay, and according to my mom, my dragons are the dishes in the sink waiting to be washed. G'day lords and ladies! I'm off to battle the kitchen!
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
Can I Have a Dog?
By: Victoria Rogers, Age 17, Texas, USA
Description: A child tries to convince his parents that he should have a dog.
Genre: Comedic
Hello Mother. Hello Father. I brought you two together for a presentation on why I should have a dog. First off, I want to thank you both for being here as you both were busy watching a movie. I have put together some reasons why I should have a dog: 1) I am a hyperactive child and I make you both tired very easily. If I get a dog, I will have someone to play with and you guys can get some quality sleep; 2) I can earn money from feeding, washing, and walking the dog; 3) This will also teach me to be responsible so that I won’t forget to get the keys when we leave the house; 4) Dogs help you live longer and they will eat anything that you give them; 5) (And this will be a benefit for you) I will stop asking for a little brother. I admit that this can be a lot of responsibility, but I promise you that I will do my best. So, what do you say? Can I get a dog?
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
Princess Therapy Group
Second Place Winner
By: AnnaKate S., Age 14, Alabama, USA
Description: Snow White leads a support group for princesses who have evil stepmothers.
Genre: Comedic
Hello, everyone! I’m Snow White, and welcome back to APPLES Group Therapy! Amazing, Poised, Princesses Loathing Evil Stepmothers! (whispers) It’s an acronym. We have two new people joining us today! We have Gretel and. Hansel, you do realize this is Princesses loathing evil stepmothers, right? You know what? Never mind. It’s 2020, you do you. Anyway, we are here because we all have one thing in common. We all have horrible stepmothers! I mean, mine got jealous of me, hired someone to kill me, tried to poison me, but this isn’t about me! Let’s talk about all of you! Cinderella, let’s start with you. Your stepmother didn’t let you go to the ball. How did that make you feel? Like what? Oh, you’re a princess, you shouldn’t use that kind of language. Moving on to. Ariel. While you technically don’t actually have an evil stepmother, you do have an evil aunt. She tricked you into exchanging your voice for legs. How did that make you feel? Wait, no, let me guess, it made you feel pretty. crabby! Hahaha. wrong time and place. Got it. Does anyone else want to share? No? Okay, be honest, do any of you actually want therapy, or do you just come for the free donuts?
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
Third Place Winner
By: David Black, Age 13, California, USA
Description: Frosty the Snowman complains to a fan about the song that was written about him.
Genre: Comedic
Watch on YouTube
Yes, it's me. Frosty the Snowman. No autographs right now. I'm not in the best of moods. (pause) Why? Well, you may have heard of that show. The show that was made back in the '60s? I can't stop thinking about it. That cheesy show with the song that goes, (singing) Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul. With a corncob pipe and a button nose? (speaking) Hold it, hold it. What do they mean by a button nose? I have a long, orange, carrot nose which I take pride in. Not a small button nose like those humans. Ugh. Anyways, let's continue. (singing) Frosty the Snowman was a fairy tale, they say. He was made of snow but the children know? (speaking) Yes, what do the children know about me? Five verses into the song and they already have so much arrogance! I am disgusted. Aside from you, I've never spoken to a child in my life! I'd better keep going before I hurl snowballs everywhere. Let's see, (singing) There must have been some magic in that old top hat they found? (snickers) What top hat was that? Abe Lincoln's? (mutters) I'm not sure if he even had magic in his hat. I wasn't at the White House. Yes, I know what the White House is! I am not just an inanimate object brought to life by some bozo who thought he had the brains to come up with someone as amazing as me. I am real. I am an anthropomorphic being! Not someone whose father was a snowball! You know what, I've had it up to here with humans! Why do you think you are so creative? Of course, I knew the sun would melt me. They thought they were going to humiliate me with a show about what, a walking talking blimp who sings with a bunch of munchkins for half an hour! Why don't you just watch the show yourself? Then you will see what I am so upset about.! In the meantime, I shall gather my genetic material off the sidewalk! I shall form my brethren, the other misunderstood snow-people of the world, and we shall fight! And we will humiliate the humans…the scum! (sighs) Or I could just live my long life out on the lawn all winter until I melt.
By: Seth B., Age 11, Texas, USA
Description: A person is sucked through a black hole and turned into a monkey.
Genre: Comedic
(Actor squats on top of a chair.)
Look, I know what you're thinking. It’s weird, right? You're thinking, why am I in a tree, crying, while eating a banana like a monkey? Well, it's more complicated than you think. I once was a human--no no no--I mean a real human that could do things at my own will. You see, yesterday, I was in my house about to eat breakfast when suddenly a GINORMOUS hole formed in the ground! Yes. Right there in my kitchen. I was pretty freaked out, and then it got worse. The hole started sucking me in! I panicked. What was I supposed to do?! Grab a banana?! Well actually, that was exactly what I did. Next thing I know, that hole transported me into a machine that made me half monkey and half human. Now I have to live in a tree, walk on all fours, and eat 90% bananas and 10% of everything else. The bad part is that I don't even like bananas!! (angry sigh) Oh sorry, I got a bit carried away. (pause) What? Why did this happen? How the heck am I supposed to know? But if it could happen to me, it could happen to you. Ugh. I--ooh ooh--don't feel so goo--ooh ooh (starts to make monkey noises) ooh ooh ooh eek eek ha ha ha haaaa (turns into a monkey).
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
Watch another video performance of this monologue here!
By: Anna K., Age 12, Texas, USA
Description: A boy tries to convince his mother that he is not to blame for various mishaps.
Genre: Dramatic
Mom, I swear. I wouldn’t eat the rest of Mason’s Halloween candy. But you see, I did happen to see who did it. It was the Invisible Man. Yep, the Invisible Man. Well, invisible to adults. But I saw him. He climbed onto the counter and got out Mason’s candy. Then he ate all of it. And he didn’t even clean up after himself! Err, no, that’s not chocolate on my face. It's dirt. Yeah, I was playing in the mud. But you know what else? The Invisible Man is also the one who knocked Mason’s tooth out when they were play-fighting. And the Invisible Man got Play-Doh stuck in the carpet, and used Mason’s toothbrush to brush the dog’s teeth, and broke the lamp, and he even accidentally lit the curtains on fire. He’s the one who broke the window and put a tack in the car tire and tore the library book in half. What? Why are you putting me in time-out? It was the Invisible Man, and I didn’t do it!
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
By: Ethan K., Age 12, Texas, USA
Description: A former genie spills the beans about the secret city of Ababwa.
Genre: Comedic
(Actor is sitting as though in a boat. He/she boasts loudly about Ababwa.)
Yes, yes, I know you guys want to go to Ababwa, but I got kicked out because I am not a genie anymore. You would get booted out, too, because it’s supposed to be a secret and it’s impossible to keep your mouth closed about the place. It has these amazing colorful buildings. They are not like the small lamp I used to live in; they are gigantic underground caves which are rich with salt and, by the way, make delicious food. The caves have multiple levels. The richest of genies have fifteen levels of caves. They have so many places to explore, and they have a very good business set up. They sell lots of food and make a lot of money. They live the life, but sadly only a few have the privilege to live there since you have to be saved from a genie trap or a genie cave. When this happens, you have to present the new lamp owner with a song that explains that they have three wishes, and they cannot wish for more wishes. You also have to mention that if they want to make a wish then they have to rub the lamp and say, “Genie I wish…”, then next they say whatever they want to wish for. After that the genie they say this to is allowed to live in Ababwa. You start off with only one level and keep on digging deeper and deeper. The longer you stay the richer you get, and yes, I know we have told you that we are eternal beings, but we actually aren’t. We only live for about one hundred billion years. Our leader is almost dead but he is still the wisest of us all. Hey, hush. We should quiet down in order to pass through this part of the sea. Since I just got kicked out of Ababwa, I don’t want the genies there to hear me telling you all of this. It’s supposed to be extremely secret. Shhhh.
By: Braeden Hatfield, Age 12, Texas, USA
Description: A genie complains about his/her situation.
Genre: Comedic
10,000 years. TEN THOUSAND YEARS is how long I’ve been in this stupid bottle. It's so hot and sticky. The plumbing is out and even though I have a TV, the only channel it has is PBS Kids and that's a kids’ channel! Every day I wish that someone would just rub this stupid bottle. Only three people have done this, and they were 2,000 years apart from each other! And they didn’t even ask for interesting wishes. One asked to have a lot of money and another asked to be a prince. How unoriginal. I mean obviously I had to go along with it, but let me tell you, it was no big thrill for me. You might be wondering what the third person asked for. Well, I think he had some mental issues, because he asked to be a pickle. A PICKLE. Can you believe that? And then he started to get picky and asked to be a Kosher pickle. wow. Right after he did that a giant picked him up and put him in a sandwich and I went back to being bored beyond belief. I mean look around. Would you want to live here? Day after day, getting my hopes up that something exciting would happen. Honestly, I don't think I should wish for people to come rub my lamp anymore. I wish I could grant myself a wish. If I could, I’d wish that I could be like the genie in that one movie I saw. That genie had a palace, and a mountain of gold in a cave. That's the life I want. Not THIS life in a stupid lamp which I call a bottle. Oh! Wait I think I see someone! Could this be the fourth person to make a wish? (gasp) He’s rubbing my lamp! YES! Wait what!? You want that to be your wish? You have got to be kidding me!
By: Caleb Forrister, Age 11, Texas, USA
Description: A kid
Genre: Comedic
Some people ask what pet I have, and if they can go to my house. When I tell them that my pet is unusual or going to my house might not end well, they just get more excited and persist! It’s funny how they just blow off my warning. I know what you’re thinking. How could a pet be so bad? Some of you might be thinking that a pet can’t possibly be scary or dangerous. Sure, some people have pet snakes or tarantulas, and I admit that snakes or spiders can be scary, but… well, I have a dragon. A big, mighty, roaring dragon. Once I tell people that, at first they don’t believe me, and then when they do, they start bouncing off the walls saying that I have the last one, and WE could make a fortune off of it. They say they want to see their big money maker. I tell them, “HE’S MY DRAGON! NOT YOUR MONEYMAKER!” It just ticks me off. How dare someone try to take advantage of my boy. Anyway, I’ve got to go feed my dragon dinner. Jason is coming over to see him tonight. But I warned him that coming to my house wouldn’t end well. (smiles)
No Phone at Bedtime
By: Alyssa Clymire, Age 12, USA
Description: A teenager argues about putting her phone away at bedtime.
Genre: Comedic
But Dad, why do I have to go to bed. It’s only 9:00! This is so stupid. You know … my friends don’t go to bed until 10:45 aaaaand they are allowed to have their phones in their bed. Do you wanna know how I know? I know because every morning I check my phone and I have a million ceiling pics from SnapChat saying “STREAKS”. Oh wait, you’re old. That means … actually, never mind I don’t want to waste my time. If I don’t keep up with my friends, all the latest clothing trends, and TikTok dances, (checks phone) Never mind, POVs are in now. See what I mean. I have got to keep up or else I’m not going be popular anymore. Then, I won’t have any friends. Oh no Dad, please help me. I still pay attention in class and get good grades. I only have my writing homework. I have to write an argument essay. I can do it in the morning. I’ll just write down everything I just said. And I got a “C” on my math test. Wait, did I say “C?” I meant “B.” Actually, I give up. I don’t know why I argue about going to bed every night. I never win. Fine. I’ll go put my phone on the kitchen counter.
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
By: Autumn Gieger, Age 11, Oklahoma, USA
Description: The Big Bad Wolf tells her side of the story.
Genre: Comedic
I’m known as the big bad wolf, but my real name is Jezebelle. I didn’t ask to be labeled as a villain for something I didn’t do. People think that I tried to eat a girl and her grandmother when I was really trying to prove that they were stealing from me. I mean Little Red Riding Hood (scoffs) is more like Little Red Robber. I had just moved here when I realized that some dirty, low life of a thief was stealing my food. The girl was stealing my food for her grandmother. Doing her grandmother's dirty work! Please…they had plenty of their own food and they didn’t have to steal mine. If they wanted food, they could have just asked me. That little red robber didn’t have to steal. When I hired Larry the lumberjack to catch her in the act, she bribed him to make up this crazy story about this big bad wolf trying to gobble her and her grandmother up. That is the last time I trust a lumberjack. I am tired of these people. I am going somewhere else. I just heard that there are three nice pigs who want a neighbor…so I am going to live with them.
By: Jade Land, Age 11, Oklahoma, USA
Description: A sister describes what it’s really like to have a younger sibling.
Genre: Comedic
(Genders can be changed to suit the actor.)
Hi, my name is Jade and I am here to issue you a warning. Like every other kid, I wanted a little baby brother or sister. I promised that I would help change diapers, entertain, feed the baby, and babysit. We are all like that. I'm not going to lie, but let me tell you this it all changes when you actually get the baby. You love him or her for about two or more months then it’s chaos. You begged and begged for a little baby brother or sister, and because you promised your parents that you would help, they actually expect you to help take care of them. So, now you have to change the diapers, entertain the baby, and babysit! It gets stressful because they cry and cry and poop and pee, so you NEVER have free time! And you might be saying, “oh Jade, what about when they get older?” It gets worse. Yeah, you heard me, it gets worse! They want attention all the time and will never give your privacy. They always have an attitude and never behave! They try to annoy you every single way they can. Like for example, they play their video as loud as they can. They won’t leave you alone when you have a friend over or have something you need to do. Also, they start copying every little thing you do from eating to talking. They also hit you at random times too! Let me tell you… don’t go around saying that you want a little baby brother or sister and say you’ll help with everything. Only say it if you are ready and experienced. I’m not saying that it isn’t also wonderful. I love my little sister, I do. But that’s because I know how to deal with her. But consider yourself warned. It’s not all goo-goo and gah-gah and sunshine and rainbows!
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
Third Place Winner
By: Alex Tuzov, Age 8, Thailand
Description: A merchant ship captain has a conversation with the president of an African country about the iceberg he is towing back from Antarctica for $1 million.
Gender: Any
Genre: Comedic
Hello, president’s office? This is Captain McGrady. Can I speak to President Mumumba, please? Thank you. (beat) Oh, hello, Mr. Mumumba. How are you doing, sir? Well, I’m great! Everything is going as planned. I have this huge iceberg. Yes, my ship is tugging it. And I am steaming full speed to the east coast of Africa. (reporting excitedly) You are going to have 100,000 tons of ice in a week! Yes, ice-cold crystal-clear water for the whole country! (asking, a bit uneasy)Yeah. uh. Mr. President, I need the money. $1 million as stated in the contract…
(disappointed, frustrated) Wha. what do you mean it can’t be done? But we have this agreement! The contract says $1 million for an iceberg from Antarctica. I have the iceberg. Why can’t I get the money? (confused) What? Coronavirus? Quarantine? Borders closed? The port is closed,too? But why are you only telling me about this now? You could have informed me before. I’m in the middle of the ocean, Mr. President! (angry) Wait? I can’t wait! The iceberg is melting and in three weeks it’s going to be a popsicle. (trying to joke) You are not paying $1 million for a popsicle, are you? (demanding desperately) Well, then open the port, let the Iceberg in. (beat) No? (giving a new idea, hoping desperately) Then let’s sneak it through a smaller port. (beat) (disappointed) Oh, I understand, it is too big. (selling again, inspired, excited) I still think you should do it, Mr. President. It would be the greatest thing ever to happen in your country. Tall and beautiful mountain of crystal-clear ice! Enough to provide drinking water to cities and villages for a year! Green fields and happy farmers! (brightened with a new idea, excited) Oh, did I tell you about the penguins? The iceberg comes with penguins sitting on top! Put them in the zoo and charge people three dollars to look at them. You’ll get your million dollars back in no time. The zoo is closed? (frustrated again, panicking) Well, sell them as pets. The best seller of the year! Who would not want to have a penguin at home? (beat) No? (panic) Uh. or . or. build a huge ice-slide and rent out sleds and skis! Or a skating rink! I can volunteer as a skating coach as soon as I get one million! Yeah, I played hockey. (excited, inspired with his new idea) It can be a huge ice theme park. With people skating, skiing, sledding, having fun in the snow, making snowmen, feeding penguins. You know what, forget about it! You don’t want the iceberg? Fine. I’m keeping it! It’s worth so much more than just 1million!
My Brother, Baby Yoda
By: Jeanette P., Age 11, Austin, Texas, USA
Description: A kid recounts a story about how they rescued their baby brother.
Gender: Any
Genre: Comedic
Let me tell you what happened. Bear with me here, because it’s a pretty incredible story. Now…some people don’t like having a little brother, but as you know, I really love my little brother… Oh sorry, I just got distracted looking at my adorable brother, Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda really is special to me. We do everything together. We go to school together, eat together, play together, sleep together, and much more. But not all of our life is peachy-perfect. Earlier in the week, Baby Yoda and I were playing together when all of a sudden, I heard what I thought was the sound of a plane. But when I looked up, I saw a spaceship. At lightning speed, it landed about ten yards from me. A curious-looking alien came out and took my brother. I was so mad and decided that I would try to rescue Baby Yoda. But I had no idea how to do it. On about the fifth day of searching for ways to help Baby Yoda, I had found an abandoned junkyard. I explored it and I discovered a UFO and I immediately ran and opened the door. Inside was a very sleek control panel. So, I tried to fly it after looking over all the buttons, and I did! I looked at all the distant planets and decided to fly toward one. Everything looked exactly like the Star Wars movies. So, the search began, but I still could not find Baby Yoda anywhere. On the next day of searching, I saw more aliens and then I spotted the alien that captured my brother. So, I followed him to what looked like a warehouse. I crept in after him and immediately saw Baby Yoda. He was tied up, and the alien was telling him about how valuable he was and that he was going to sell him! Well, I would not let that happen. So, I jumped out at him as I instinctively reached toward my back pocket where I keep my knife. I know I’m not supposed to have it, but it’s lucky I did, because I cut Baby Yoda free, and then shoved the alien into a wall and told Baby Yoda to run to the UFO I found. We jumped in, and I quickly locked the door so the alien could not get in. Then, I flew away with Baby Yoda back to earth and that’s why I haven’t done my homework or my chores this week, mom.
The Super Snail
By: Mallie H., Age 11, Austin, Texas, USA
Description: Two best friends almost break up because of a snail with super powers.
Gender: Female
Genre: Comedic
My best friend, Lizzy, has a snail named Shelly. Doesn’t that sound so cool? I bet you wish you had one. Lizzie told me this snail has superpowers. Lizzy said that Shelly once saved a dog from being run over by a car, and that her snailhad also stood up to the people that were bullying Lizzie’s sister. (Sarcastically and with a bit of suspicion) Wow, I wish I had a snail like that. (Rolls her eyes.) So, Lizzie invited me over to meet Shelly, and that day after school we started walking over to her house. On the way, I told her I knew she was making up all of these stories and that I was going to need to see some proof. She started crying and said, (repeat with a crying, whining voice, imitating Lizzie) “But I’m your best friend. How could you not believe me? I would never lie to you.” (She stops speaking like Lizzie.) I told her I knew that she thoughtit was real, but it really wasn’t. And then, she decided we couldn’t be friends anymore, so I walked back to my house and got ready to go to bed. Before I went to sleep that night, I felt an urge to turn on the news. It was really boring at first, so I was about to turn it off until I saw Shelly! The news was reporting that a snail with super powers had prevented a deadly car crash. And then I was like, oh no! I said so many mean things to Lizzy because I didn’t believe her. Now even if I apologize, she will never forgive me. What am I going to do? So, the next morning when I woke up, I was thinking about what I was going to say to Lizzy. When I arrived at school, I was so nervous about whether she was going to forgive me or not. Before first period, I got the courage to walk up to her, but she walked away before I could even say anything. Finally, I got to second period, and saw my chance to apologize. I went over to her and blurted out, “Hey Lizzy, please listen to me. I am so sorry about what happened yesterday, I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. You didn’t deserve it. Last night, I had an urge to turn on the news, and believe it or not I saw Shelly preventing two cars from crashing into each other. Please forgive me. I want to earn your trust back.” And to my surprise, she told me she forgave me! But she said she wondered how Addison was going to feel about that. So I’m thinking ummmmm… who’s Addison? And that’s when she told me that Addison was her new best friend. I was so sad. But just when I thought I had lost Lizzie as my best friend, she said to me, “Or should I say new ex-best friend?” I stood there for a moment, thinking what is that supposed to mean? And then I realized that it meant Lizzie was still my best friend! I have learned my lesson. Don’t assume someone is lying, even if they tell you something that sounds completely outrageous…and trust your best friend or you might lose her.
First Place Winner
By: Alex Tuzov, Age 8, Thailand
Description: During the pandemic, a penguin in South Africa wonders why people have stopped coming to look at them. The penguin decides to venture forth to find out why.
Gender: Any
Genre: Comedic
All right! Here I am, a big plump African penguin in his prime. Come on, take your pictures. (showing off proudly, but little worried) What? No one again? Anybody? Hello? I can’t believe this! It’s been a month and no people are coming to this beach. Nobody is looking at us or taking our pictures. (worried and puzzled) Maybe they don’t like penguins anymore. What’s wrong with us? (worried, even scared at the thought) Or, maybe, it’s not us, it’s them! Right, something bad must have happened to people. They used to like going to the beach, having picnics, taking long walks, trying to feed us popcorn. yuck! But now they are all gone. It’s like a creepy predator ate them all. (to other penguins) I think We should go to people’s habitat and take a look. I know it sounds crazy! But don’t you get it? Something terrible destroyed people, and we might be in danger too. I know it’s not safe, but we can’t just sit here and wait! Who’s coming with me? (counting the volunteers, glad and satisfied that some penguins join him) Great, those are my penguins, let’s go, guys. (cheerful, brave and bold) Okay, now we have to cross this black ice river. (walks in place like a penguin) Oh, walking is hard work, how do people do that? (complains, breathing heavily) Okay, almost there. Do you hear that? Nee-nah, nee-nah. a round-feet monster with flashing lights! It’s too fast. what do we do? (scared) Huddle? Yeah, huddle huddle. (thinking it is the only chance to save himself and other penguins) It’s gone. that was close! Looks like the round-feet monsters are still alive. (relieved) Wait! Look at that poster, a green round monster with little crowns all over its body, is that the thing that ate people? Yeah, that must be it. A corona monster swallowed them all. (terrified by discovering the monster) You know what, I’mgonna miss them. People could be a pain in the beak sometimes, but they were big, gentle, intelligent, funny creatures. (pause) Wait a minute, look at that! They’re not all dead. There’s a little girl behind that window, and an old man on the balcony! And there and there! They are all alive! (happily, relieved and excited) But why are they locked in these cells, no one goes out? It reminds me of the place I spent my early years in - the zoo. (reminiscing) I know, corona monster locked them all in their homes. I guess now animals are supposed to go and look at people! This is hilarious! People zoo! I wish I had a camera! Maybe we can even feed them, let’s go get some fish! Tell the seals they’regonna love it!
Watch Alex perform The People Zoo!
Watch a video performance of this monologue here!
